Well yeah hmm well finally done with this blog, Sniff 
well anyways hmm i know the pics for the last post is all screwed up, i’ll fix it on the new blog since frnster blog has a problem wid pix lols. Anyway it was a great run here while it lasted, sayanora old blog yea
This post about my 2nd trip back home has been delayed since March. Alot of things happened since then but I always felt the trip was too important to pass. Anyway,this is how my 2nd homecoming after a year went and how I just felt about it yea…
The Places You Have Come To Fear The Most
"There are other things we have to find before we find each other."
Hmm it’s been a year since I was coming back home. Hmm last year’s trip was really precious in a way to me… It was very much the fantasy-ish homecoming to see things will “always” be the same. I had high hopes for that trip yea & all my hopes for that trip had been met, and I knew that KK would “always” be my hometown… It was a bit naïve to think nothing would change yea but well at least it felt great to have hope in something real yea… It was great to see that moving away didnt mean the friendships I made were going to be wrecked… Anyway that was a year ago & well I honestly had no idea what to expect for this trip yea…
The feeling of this trip on the days just prior to the event was well in all honesty … sad… I mean I wasn’t sad about going back home but I was actually sad about leaving Singapore … And with that, I just knew how different this trip would be from my last one…
In a way, I guess it could be counted as a victory of some kind… I mean I was sad of leaving, it had to mean that I did enjoy my life at S’pore… but I just wondered what kind of victory was it… and I was just scared too… I was scared that I had changed and KK would no longer feel like home again…
The day before I woke up around 7am as I just couldnt get any sleep, was it stress? Yeah, it could have been that. I was flying there by myself. I always hated travelling alone cause I tend to be prone to either getting mugged or losing my luggage yea. Well actually the trip from singapore over to JB wasnt that bad and I got there in about two hours…
At the airport I managed to get Dunkin Donuts =)… Well the last time I saw D.Donuts, was… well was back on last year’s homecoming when I came to the same airport ya… Neway got another Digi number & started SMSing ppl for awhile… well on the day I was flying back, the lot of them were getting the STPM results ya.
2 hours & 20 minutes… That was the amount of air time from JB to KK… The distance in time to get from where I was to my old hometown… I mean when I think about it, I havent seen my friends in a year & all it was to get back was 2 hours & 20 minutes…And yet it felt so much farther. I felt so far away at that that plane ride, it had been a long year….
Well boarded the plane & fell asleep soon cause I knew AirAsia is pretty cheap-ass, I knew no food gets served on flight, not even any bloody peanuts =P I took some pics whle on air yea =)
A dragon-ish looking river =)
Well hmm there was a moment before landing on KK, I looked out the window ( The window seat is always a must! =)) & saw the town below… It was dark so only the bright lights could be seen while the land was just black… If you looked down, it looked like you were watching a pitch-black sky full of stars, it really just a beautiful moment as I was coming back home…
When I landed, I had a rush of mixed feelings as I prepared to get off the plane, relief that I finally came back, sadness & confusion on my feelings pre-trip, fear to discover things have changed, and well joy that I was going to see the people & friends I grew up with once again…
Stay
You say I only hear what I want to.
You say I talk so all the time so.
And I thought what I felt was simple,
and I thought that I don’t belong,
and now that I am leaving,
now I know that I did something wrong ’cause I missed you.
Yeah yeah, I missed you.
And you say I only hear what I want to:
I don’t listen hard, don’t pay attention to the distance
that you’re running to anyone, anywhere,
I don’t understand if you really care,
I’m only hearing negative: no, no, no.
So I turned the radio on, I turned the radio up,
and this woman was singing my song: lover’s in love,
and the other’s run away,
lover is crying ’cause the other won’t stay.
Some of us hover when we weep for the other
who was dying since the day they were born.
Well, well, this is not that; I think that I’m throwing,
but I’m thrown.
And I thought I’d live forever, but now I’m not so sure.
You try to tell me that I’m clever, but that won’t take me anyhow,
or anywhere with you.
You said that I was naive,
and I thought that I was strong.
I thought, "hey, I can leave, I can leave."
Oh, but now I know that I was wrong,
’cause I missed you. Yeah, I miss you.
You said, "I caught you ’cause I want you
and one day I’ll let you go."
You try to give away a keeper,
or keep me ’cause you know you’re just scared to lose.
And you say, "Stay."
And you say I only hear what I want to.
Life In A Glass House
"You start out life with a clean slate. Then you begin to make your mark. You face decisions, make choices. You keep moving forward. But sooner or later there comes a time where you look back over where you have been… and wonder who you really are. "
The moment I got out of the airplane I realized something. KK has its own smell =), I don’t mean like “Whoah, they should have covered the longkangs by now kinda smell” It just has its own smell that adds to the atmosphere of KK…I didnt notice it when I got back last year but maybe being away for some time made realize that there was that smell, the smell of home I guess =) Anyway besides my sense of smell being the 1st to be welcomed back home, my eyes saw a pretty big change in KK.
Well the 1st change in KK that hit me was AirAsia, WTH happened to AirAsia? In such quick time too lols. It was like a air force base last time (aka crap) but now it was all indoors and air-conditioned too =) So yeah, it was nice seeing that in a way =) Well my uncle picked me up and while on the car back, it was seeing all the Proton Wiras & when I saw KK town area when it really sunk in that I was really back in the place that I had spent those 8 years growing up at last.
I managed to see some of the new malls coming up(damn quick too, I reckon some of them will be done when I return the next trip). Went to Secret Recipe to try some cake & well see Warisan Plaza as well =) KK has changed a bit actually =)
After settling in and some unpacking, I started calling to make plans yea. Also well I had to find out their STPM results yea. I’m sure there’s a sigh of relief for them yea. Hmm which btw, they did quite well but I realized just hard their STPM must have been, it probably would have wiped the floor with my face. I heard of some1 just failing everything, it shows how hard it must have been… And maybe, I’m sorta glad that I didnt go Form 6, I know I would have messed it up too … The 1st night was a bit nervous as 2mr I would really start meeting every1 again yea. 
Runaway Train
Call you up in the middle of the night
Like a firefly without a light
You were there like a slow torch burning
I was a key that could use a little turning
So tired that I couldn’t even sleep
So many secrets I couldn’t keep
Promised myself I wouldn’t weep
One more promise I couldn’t keep
It seems no one can help me now
I’m in too deep
There’s no way out
This time I have really led myself astray
Runaway train never going back
Wrong way on a one way track
Seems like I should be getting somewhere
Somehow I’m neither here no there
Can you help me remember how to smile
Make it somehow all seem worthwhile
How on earth did I get so jaded
Life’s mystery seems so faded
I can go where no one else can go
I know what no one else knows
Here I am just drownin’ in the rain
With a ticket for a runaway train
Everything is cut and dry
Day and night, earth and sky
Somehow I just don’t believe it
Bought a ticket for a runaway train
Like a madman laughin’ at the rain
Little out of touch, little insane
Just easier than dealing with the pain
Runaway train never comin’ back
Runaway train tearin’ up the track
Runaway train burnin’ in my veins
Runaway but it always seems the same
You Gotta Go There To Come Back
"Home sings me of sweet things"
1st few days I guess was just living the KK life again yea… Well went eating with my uncle around town, I do think Singapore’s chicken rice is overrated as KK’s own is much better yea… And everyone who leaves KK, I’m sure we all miss the food too hahah =) Neway well I also forgot just how slow paced things were at KK.
You really felt like you had time to just relax and sit down with your friends and just let time pass without a care. Being back I remembered how easy it was to feel like you were living in KK again, it was nice and very homely. Hmm I also noticed around town that my generation was starting to get jobs. There were a lot more teenagers working now. It was so easy to see a familiar face around town. I guess that’s just another benefit of living in a small town yea =) 
Hmm but KK was getting a whole load of new malls around town, by my next return alotta of dem would be up oredi yea. Hmm well around the 2nd day went to Damai to meet Su, Ang and David yea. It was great seeing them again. I haven’t really got to talk to Su since last year’s trip yea, so it was nice to catch up with them all. Hmm one nice surprise I didn’t really expect was Su and Ang were friends again… It just felt nice seeing them together as friends again. It just evoked the days of Form 3 when they were in a clique that called themselves “f4”… I remember talking with them bout the dumb name after around form 5 when we became friends… We sure came along way from then yea. Well a girl and some other issues caused a huge rift between them and after some time I thought they would never get over whatever drove them apart. These guys were childhood friends so it was really nice seeing them friendly again. I guess I really liked that they patched things up without me yea.
Ang & David~
Su with a goofy smile 
Hmm on the side note, one dumb thing that I noticed ever since I came back was that it started raining in KK… It started on the night I came back, the first rain in weeks there and well for almost the whole trip it was rainy. Lame weather lols…
Well the 1st weekend I met up wid AeA who picked me up over at Damai(CX has three branches? Wth lols) and Sandra( it was great seeing her after a year too! =)) was there as well. AeA, I haven’t seen the guy in well since last year, yeah… he was one of the ones who really kept in touch with me whether it was important or crazy crap but yeah it was good to see him again. Hmm we went over to CPS & looked around. We even ran into Agnita by chance who was act leaving for KL; hmm it’s been a long time since I saw AeA but waaay longer since me, AeA & Agnita were together at one place. Hahaha I still remember how AeA gave her the police number & told her it was his, and she called them lols… I know I’m gonna spam this alot but yeah it’s been so long since then…
At CPS with Eboy & Sandra =)
Damai, the sky was damn beautiful
Well after looking around CPS they had to go off already yea. Later on met up with Nadia =) After I left Singapore, I still maintained a pretty gud friendship with her. Hmm o yeah, she got good STPM results =) I have to admit that I didn’t expect her to get such great results considering that she isn’t really the studying-type lols. Neways after lunch, we finally had our pool match hahah =).
Well it felt great to be back in KK and at familiar places with some old friends yeah =) KK, CPS & all its movie outings, pool, bowling or just another lunch at that rm2.80 chicken rice shop downstairs…Yeah, I know it doesn’t sound like the most happening life but Hell, I know I enjoyed those times & I’m sure they did too. Chan,Su,Ang & AeA… Yeah, I missed hanging out with them. Those were simple times. I mean you knew who you were, and back den we were just friends who had just finished SPM with had loads of free time on our hands… Yea its sad tat we’re now all separated by distance with Chan being in Melaka & me over at S’pore… The sad truth is that we’ll never get to go out like that on a weekly basis… I know that chapter of life has passed… and I know I will always cherish it dearly.
Breakfast at Tiffany’s
You say that we’ve got nothing in common
No common ground to start from
And we’re falling apart
You’ll say the world has come between us
Our lives have come between us
But I know you just don’t care
And I said what about "Breakfast at Tiffany’s?
She said, "I think I remember the film,
And as I recall, I think, we both kinda liked it."
And I said, "Well, that’s the one thing we’ve got."
I see you - the only one who knew me
And now your eyes see through me
I guess I was wrong
So what now? It’s plain to see we’re over,
And I hate when things are over -
When so much is left undone
And I said what about "Breakfast at Tiffany’s?
She said, "I think I remember the film,
And as I recall, I think, we both kinda liked it."
And I said, "Well, that’s the one thing we’ve got."
You say that we’ve got nothing in common
No common ground to start from
And we’re falling apart
You’ll say the world has come between us
Our lives have come between us
But I know you just don’t care
And I said what about "Breakfast at Tiffany’s?
She said, "I think I remember the film,
And as I recall, I think, we both kinda liked it."
And I said, "Well, that’s the one thing we’ve got."
Hanging By A Moment
"As happens sometimes a moment settled and hovered and remained for much more than a moment. And sound stopped and movement stopped for much, much more than a moment. And then the moment was gone"
Hmm around the next few days, we started planning for a trip of some sort like Karumbunai last year. Also got to meet Jennet with Ang and David and saw 300 yea =) It was nice seeing JLo too since we managed to keep in touch since I left yeah =) Hmm also actually planned a K-Box outing but that was killed too in the end lols, since alotta people couldn’t make it. Su was vouching for the idea but next time we’ll make it happen yea. Hmm neway he picked me up & went to see Kenneth too yea. Also we picked up an old friend, Evan too yea.
Evan Phua, a friend I haven’t seen in a long time but yeah we go way back actually. Before I was friends with AeA, Chan and even F4, though not alotta ppl know nowadays, we were pretty close last time. I know this is bad but we just had a Hell of a fun time joking bout F4 lols, there’s alotta funny stories & history with him & Lionel, Jeremy & Engeland. Whether it was Weldon Bison or how a perverted drawing of “mango head” somehow managed to get a “B”, or even a guy who we made fun of until almost the whole class got called into the discipline master room and I was No.1 on his SOB list lols, fun times… Yeah, well the last trip it just seemed things had become so far apart so when I came back this time, I called him up to meet up yea. Evidently, he was the same old friend that I remembered. Hmm though yeah maybe after all the new circle of friends since the Ricecracker gang, it was great to know that I could meet him up when I had the chance yea. 
Well neway, we went on to Wisma & met up with Arthur. He looks different with long hair lols & I remember seeing him in his photos in Form 6, thinking the class clown had become a good boy to some extent but I was wrong about that lols. Well we had lunch b4 splitting up & driving over to Jesselton Point yea.
Hey through my 8 years of living at KK, I never actually went to JP. It’s a beautiful place and real quiet yea =) No milo dinosaurs but ordered a bunch of Pisang Goreng which I haven’t ate or seen for quite some time yea. Hmm it was nice relaxing there and it just seemed that the world was going at a much slower pace there. You really feel you have the whole day to spend with your friends yeah. After all the hecticness of Singapore life it was nice being back home & getting to really wind down yea =)
Hanging By A Moment
Desperate for changing
Starving for truth
I’m closer to where I started
Chasing after you
I’m falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I’ve held onto
I’m standing here until you make me move
I’m hanging by a moment here with you
Forgetting all I’m lacking
Completely incomplete
I’ll take your invitation
You take all of me now…
I’m falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I’ve held onto
I’m standing here until you make me move
I’m hanging by a moment here with you
I’m living for the only thing I know
I’m running and not quite sure where to go
And I don’t know what I’m diving into
Just hanging by a moment here with you
There’s nothing else to lose
There’s nothing else to find
There’s nothing in the world
That can change my mind
There is nothing else
There is nothing else
There is nothing else
Desperate for changing
Starving for truth
I’m closer to where I started
Chasing after you….
I’m falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I’ve held onto
I’m standing here until you make me move
I’m hanging by a moment here with you
I’m living for the only thing I know
I’m running and not quite sure where to go
And I don’t know what I’m diving into
Just hanging by a moment here with you
Just hanging by a moment (here with you)
Hanging by a moment (here with you)
Hanging by a moment here with you
Everyday Is A Sunday Evening
“Most of our life is a series of images. They pass us by like towns on the highway. But sometimes a moment stuns us as it happens. And we know that this instant is more than a fleeting image. We know that this moment, every part of it, will live on forever.”
Around now we all decided that we would be going over to Kevin’s hse over at Melinsung . It seemed like a gud idea at the time yea . We had only two transport tho and we were all working with limited funds. Actually was wondering if I should come back for this trip since I was broke but hmm I had free time & Hell if I didn’t make the most of it yea~
The next day got to meet up with Nadia again, hmm had to help her parents wid something yea. Neway her family was sweet and well pretty close yea =) It was nice meeting them and well actually when Nadia told me her dad’s office was at Kingfisher area, a thought streaked through my mind, I thought, wouldn’t it just be great for this trip if I go down memory lane and see MN or SRS? Well when we were leaving, I was looking around but didn’t recognize the area at all. So I thought it must have been somewhere else. But then I saw through some gates & saw the familiar blue & black uniforms. My first thought was when did MN move to another area, I literally could not recognize the area, I mean the place changed so so much! Okay, granted this is coming from a guy who hadn’t gone there since what… form 2? But yeah, it was a really shocking experience for me.. I was used to seeing places change but this; there was no "Okay-we’re remodeling now; see us in a few months & we’ll be upgraded” phase. It was just "YatZee! Lo & Behold!" The last time I saw it, there were only houses here & MN & SRS…
Hmm but yeah, anyway it was nice for this trip that I got to see my old primary school where I had met my 1st friends in Asia yea, I’ll never forget thinking that Malaysia was jungle before coming or being so glad to make friends there. 1st day after school I remember I was looking at a dictionary for the words "lah" and "bah" lols… SRS was just a great time for me yeah, and I’m sure when they went to MN, they had the same bonds. Yeah, not being able to go onto MN with friends that I made in M’sia ; having to restart and go into a government school, it just turned out to be the catalyst that made me hate All Saints. I look back on it and realized how dumb that was, it was why I didn’t go into Form 6 All Saints when I could have ( If I did, I most likely wouldn’t have left KK) But I’m glad how my Secondary School life went, I’m sure all my primary school mates are doing alright, they really the ones who are scattered around the globe but yeah it’s nice to see they’re still close yeah =)
Neway back to the present, well we went over to Karumunsing for lunch yea. We got to take a load of pics there too. I’m glad that Nadia & me were still chummy & friends after SPM yeah lols. It was really nice meeting up with her b4 she departs for Uni, and hope she gets to go whereever she wants, but yeah she has good results so hahah Im sure she will =) It’s nice keeping in contact with her. She had alotta drama pass her life & I’m glad to know she was doing fine here & was happy yea. Neway yeah I know she’s going to prove to all anyone who doubted her that she’s going to live a great life. Prepare to be amazed =)
Well went on to meet some friends over at Lintas for a drink. Lintas hadn’t changed much yea. Neway later on went to Secret Recipe with Seow and Ang. It was nice of him to meet up considering he is closer with my brother but anyway he was doing fine at KK yea. Even heard Rajpal was in the same school with him lols. Well we talked for an hour waiting for Sandra & Mandy hahah. We pretty much finished dinner by the time they arrived but yeah it was nice seeing Mandy after a year actually. When I 1st came to Singapore it was her and AeA,Nadia, Jennet & Sandra who made me feel that no matter how far I was from KK, my past was real and KK would always be a part of me. I always liked how it was easy to talk with her yea, and after a year of MSN, it was nice meeting her yea. Neway it was a nice night, nothing big but it was a nice & simple dinner yea.
I have to be honest the first few days I was stuck of this feeling of dread, there were some moments where I felt. “Yeah, that’s why I left this place” that stigma was stuck with me until well around this time of the trip. I just felt swept away by all those feelings that I had while I was still in KK, good and bad. Around now at the trip, I remembered how nice it was to be able to meet up with the people who I grew up with along the years. I remember the first few days being back home, were like this is why I wanted to leave KK so badly in the 1st place…Like some of the shitty attitude of some people who no matter how much time pass, they seem to be the same yea … Yeah of course I didn’t think it was great that how I felt about being back home after a year.. I mean it was a year since I left… I should feel more thankful for another chance to hang out with my friends. And yeah, around this time of the trip I realized I was realizing that yeah I would eventually go back to my state of mind at Singapore… but I realized coming back to KK should never be a hard thing to do & I really did start to enjoy being around my friends in KK.
Well I know we all love going back home, but visiting your old hometown is tough sometimes. It’s horrible to see your hometown in a certain stasis, to see that it’s exactly as it always was. … However something even worse is to see your hometown start to change, I think. The place you grew up in begins to become unfamiliar & different than what you lived through as a kid all those years. Sure KK hasnt changed to the point where I cant recognise anything but there always be that day yea…Then there’s that old adage, "you can never go home again." cause everytime you leave its never the same once you come back…
Neways I was finally starting to enjoy my 2nd trip back to KK with this day yea. I had about a week left before I was going back but now I felt like there so much to do & so little time yea =)
100 Years
I’m 15 for a moment
Caught in between 10 and 20
And I’m just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are
I’m 22 for a moment
She feels better than ever
And we’re on fire
Making our way back from Mars
15 there’s still time for you
Time to buy and time to lose
15, there’s never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live
I’m 33 for a moment
Still the man, but you see I’m a they
A kid on the way
A family on my mind
I’m 45 for a moment
The sea is high
And I’m heading into a crisis
Chasing the years of my life
15 there’s still time for you
Time to buy, Time to lose yourself
Within a morning star
15 I’m all right with you
15, there’s never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live
Half time goes by
Suddenly you’re wise
Another blink of an eye
67 is gone
The sun is getting high
We’re moving on…
I’m 99 for a moment
Dying for just another moment
And I’m just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are
15 there’s still time for you
22 I feel her too
33 you’re on your way
Every day’s a new day…
15 there’s still time for you
Time to buy and time to choose
Hey 15, there’s never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live
Lightning Crashes
“There seems to be a kind of order in the universe…in the movement of the stars and the turning of the Earth and the changing of the seasons. But human life is almost pure chaos. Everyone takes his stance, asserts his own right and feelings, mistaking the motives of others, and his own. "
Well hmm well my last trip back to KK, Karumbunai had a few huge problems but this Melinsung trip had a few of its own yea…
Well all was pretty much planned for the Melinsung trip… The original plan had us going there & then the next day having a BBQ , it would have been pretty nice except no one had anticipated the weather to be bad, yeah I know I said it was raining almost the whole week since I came back, but the day before Melinsung had good weather. We didn’t think it would be an issue but when it rained, it poured yea. It rained till it flooded which led to Su not being able to pick us up. Now we had a problem since Su was ½ of the transport so now we had to find another transport. Now every1 had a reason to be pissed since that place at Melinsung was a friend’s place & we did a no show which sucked. In the end, with lack of transport & all of us pissed at each other for reasons ; we decided to nix the whole Melinsung idea & just stay a night at some hotel at KK. So lame hahah.
I like this pic, feels very disorientating, like ur 1/2 in the air and on the ground
Well we dropped Ang off & drove off to meet Alex Fung, it was nice seeing him after awhile too yea, but hahah I remember that we met him for a dumb reason, he could have just called us & told us what he needed to tell us but yeah neway it was nice seeing him again yea. =)
Well we went to go find a hotel to stay over yea =) It was night and raining and we needed a place to stay over. We drove around town looking for hotels for about an hour with AeA’s credit company’s “government rate” constantly failing us lols. We finally went to king park hotel yea =)
Well the rest went off to Damai while me & Eboy went to go see a movie with Mandy & her sister yea We saw MrBean which was alrite I guess but not a movie that I’ll watch a 2nd time yea. Neway it was always nice going out with them again of course yea
Funny pic & stupid moment here lols
Went back to the hotel after that & well Arthur joined us. Hmm well there was a pretty good reason why too but hmm I’ll just keep that to myself yea…That night, we played some Indian Poker and got pretty drunk(most of us except 1 heheh) after about 25 beers and a bottle of red before finally going to sleep around 3 I think.
Finding a solution to the world’s worries at the bottom of a glass yea =)
Hmm well I thought alot that night, I guess this is probably the sequel of sorts to last year trip’s problem. Last year’s mishap nearly cost me one of my best friend, Su’s friendship. This trip I realised there was an end of a longstanding friendship though. While it was great to see that Su & Ang were on good terms, I realized how broken some friendships became … Hmm well truthfully it might have started since last year’s trip or hmm maybe even after SPM… Well for this trip, things between them were pretty bad & now it came to the point where I had avoid the other just to go out… It just seems the tension between them is so huge, things just seemed tense when they were both around, like they both wanted some reason to be angry at one another… It felt like I was betraying the other when I went out with one of them. Also I didn’t like how some friends treated one of these two friends, they seemed so double-faced and were only nice when they needed to be.
The sad thing was that things weren’t always like that between them. They used to be close. Yeah, I said this earlier about the whole CPS thingy but yeah of course it was more then just that. I think every person fortunate enough to have friends grace their lives has at least one "golden era" of friendship where it was you and were friends and the future really didn’t matter at the moment. For me, I guess it was back at the last few months of Form 5 with AeA, Chan, Su & Ang. Back then, they could joke among each other & really laugh at what they were joking about. It was really one of the most easiest & best times of my life. Of course, we thought it would never really end.
And I guess that could have been what tore some of u apart too, maybe the fact that we thought we were always going to be like that meant that we never had to work to keep our friendship afloat. Maybe we just started taking it for granted that we were going to be able to work it out. I didn’t really go & try to salvage this friendship between them… Hmm the fact is that they’re both in the same school now, they have a chance to meet up or try to make amends. And if they really can’t be friends anymore, that the world’s burden finally caught up with them & put an end between their friendship, if it means that we might never be as close as before together, then I guess I have to accept that too…
I guess growing up is never easy. You hold on to things that were. You wonder what’s to come. But that night, I think I knew it was time to let go of what had been and look ahead to what would be. Other days, now days, days to come. The thing is we didn’t have to hate each other for getting older and farther apart. We just had to forgive ourselves for growing up. Maybe I just have to live with the fact that not everything last forevers and that I would just have to accept that… Maybe they’ll never be friends again and yeah that’s sad considering they’re both good people, but maybe that’s just part & parcel of growing up; you lose some of the best friends/people in your life along the way…
Movies
At slow speed we all seem focused
In motion we seem wrong
In summer we can taste the rain
I want you to be free
Don’t worry about me
And just like the movies
We play out our last scene
Two can play this game
We both want power
In winter we can taste the pain
In our short years,
we come long way
To treat it bad and throw away
I want you to be free
Don’t worry about me
And just like the movies
We play out our last scene
You won’t cry, I won’t scream
In our short years we come long way
To treat it bad and throw away
And if we make a little space
A science fiction showcase
In our short film, a love disgrace
Dream a scene to brighten face
In our short years we come long way
To treat it bad, just to throw it away
The Heart Brings You Back
"Whats In The Past Stays In The Past"
The next morning most of us awoke with a nasty hangover yea.
Zzz
I was still a bit woozy in the morning, went into the closet & stood in for around 5 seconds lols
Well after getting our heads cleared up,we checked out & then had breakfast. After that,drove over to Wisma to cash out whatever I had left to use yea.
On a sidenote, I also noticed there were just 1 or 2 SugarBuns left, before I left they were expanding like wild fire and to come back to see that how gone it is , it’s a bit funny lols
With free time I finally played a long awaited match of pool against Eboy.Waited a year to trump his ass & nearly won in a very-much controversial "sabah vs singapore match" I had to tell him "welcome to singapore " . Later Alex joined us & whupped both our asses in the end yea
After that realised there was a scratch on the rental car we took & alot of us used the car so we don’t know which one of us had the car & caused it. In the end, we split the pay of the cost to "fix it" =)
KK
After that we went to pick up Su at his place, who was talking with some1 from Singapore who actually saw me working at Balaclava before lols. What a small world eh? After his long call, we went to go get the food for the BBQ all over the town yea.
Hmm towards the end of this week.. I realised just where i stood in my frends lives… It felt good to know that we were still that close after a year of absensce…
Save Tonight
Go on and close the curtains
cause all we need is candle light
You and me and a bottle of wine
going to hold you tonight
Well we know I’m going away
and how I wish, I wish it weren’t so
So take this wine and drink with me
let’s delay our misery
Save tonight
and fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow
tomorrow I’ll be gone
Save tonight
and fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow
tomorrow I’ll be gone
There’s a log on the fire
and it burns like me for you
Tomorrow comes with one desire
to take me away it’s true
It ain’t easy to say goodbye
darling please don’t start to cry
Cause girl you know I’ve got to go, oh
Lord I wish it wasn’t so
Save tonight
and fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow
tomorrow I’ll be gone
Save tonight
and fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow
tomorrow I’ll be gone
Tomorrow comes to take me away
I wish that I, that I could stay
Girl you know I’ve got to go, oh
Lord I wish it wasn’t so
Save tonight
and fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow
tomorrow I’ll be gone
Save tonight
and fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow
tomorrow I’ll be gone
Save tonight
and fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow
tomorrow I’ll be gone
Save tonight
and fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow
tomorrow I’ll be gone
tomorrow I’ll be gone
tomorrow I’ll be gone
tomorrow I’ll be gone
tomorrow I’ll be gone
Save tonight
Save tonight
Save tonight
Save tonight
Spirit In The Night
"We didn’t really accomplish anything that night. Nothing of any real importance, anyway. But through the many years that lay ahead, there would be a thousand other nights, just like that one … Stupid, ridiculous, and glorious."
After that with all our BBQ food ready we went over to Kevin’s house for the bbq at his hse, I dont remember who but one of them shared with us a "revolutionary secret about BBQ and hot dogs" He told me to put the hotdogs in the bread & you will get full fast… Zzz … lols I was like "owh okay?"
Anyway lots of familar faces showed up soon enough yea.After makan most of them went over to Damai to DOTA. Su, Eboy & me didnt play DOTA anymore(No offense to all the DOTA nuts but the game feels so0o0o stale mwahaha) so anyway we decided to find something else to do that night yea …
Poor dog lols
We went to go see a movie, and tho yeah it felt like I was sneaking away from them. But I think me & AeA just wanted to get away from that negative energy & the tension for just awhile yea and go have dinner. Well we picked up Mandy & Sandra yea… Hahah Sandra couldn’t find her phone or something so we were outside her house for like ten minutes lols =) I remember Mandy calling for her at the door, it was funny lols. Well the car still had the stink of carrying the sotong from the BBQ so it was a open window car drive lols =)
Hmm well we drove on to to have dinner by the cinema yea. Anyway they found they were having dinner with Su. Hmm the last guy of f4 they never really met and well last Karumbunai trip… They sorta 1st talked with him yea.
This is pretty much copy & paste from another post but one thing about Su that I will always respect about him is how he will never give up on a friend… Around the madness of all the new people of form 6 with our old people from All Saints of Form 5. A good friend of Su went into form 6 and well everyone seemed to turn on him, it seemed like he had fallen out with some of his closest friends who had supported him through Form 1-5. I knew about the whole mess but wasnt in Form 6 so couldnt help much, but Su… He went to bat for him like a true friend to the end, I remember sitting at Palm Square with him and him being genuinely angry for his friend …Yeah sure, was his friend well right or wrong to be desserted? Well thats not the point yea, Su stuck by his friend till the end ya…
Well after the movie, we drove around town to AeA’s area of expertise: Kampung Air? Saw some chickens, it might have been the 1st time the girls really saw the hmm night safari at KK yea lols. Well it was a funny drive back yea lols… After driving around town we went back to send them home yea. Got to take got some pics at Mandy’s hse before saying goodbyes ..
I knew I was going to miss them, seeing how they would be leavin off for university, it would really be awhile until we would be able to meet up again yea… I was really glad I got to meet up with Mandy & Sandra for the return back home… Both of them were still the same caring & bubbly people that I remembered, it was good to see that after a year’s abscensce yea.Hmm yeah, I never did school with them & so yeah they were one of the 1st friends that I grew close with without seeing them everyday in school yea. And yeah glad to have met them, they’re both nice people; the world doesnt stand a chance against them yea =)
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My fave pic from the whole trip =) I keep it on my handphone wallpaper to this day to remind myself where I came from ( yeah pretty cheesy idea lols)because its not the places that I’ll miss most but the friends yea;)
We Got Tonight
I know its late, I know you’re weary
I know your plans dont include me
Still here we are, both of us lonely
Longing for shelter from all that we see
Why should we worry, no one will care girl
Look at the stars so far away
Weve got tonight, who needs tomorrow?
Weve got tonight babe
Why don t we stay?
Deep in my soul, Ive been so lonely
All of my hopes, fading away
Ive longed for love, like everyone else does
I know Ill keep searching, after today
So there it is girl, Ive got it all now
And here we are babe, what do you say?
Weve got tonight, who needs tomorrow?
Weve got tonight babe
Why dont we stay?
I know its late, I know youre weary
I know your plans dont include me
Still here we are, both of us lonely
Both of us lonely
Weve got tonight, who needs tomorrow?
Lets make it last, lets find a way
Turn off the light, come take my hand now
Weve got tonight babe
Why dont we stay?
Weve got tonight babe
Why dont we stay?
The Leaving Song
Where is the good in goodbye? Every parting is a form of death, as every reunion is a type of heaven
Well we went back home and some of them were pissed that we watched a movie without them, plus we came back a bit late and they had to wait for us. Most of them were sleeping.. at nite, I was resting when I realised something hairy was next to me. I turned on my phone light to see and saw the dog jumped on the bed and was sleeping lols. So cute man hahahas =)
In the morning, drove over to Damai to have lunch with Su and talked about well the year ahead … Afterwards we said our goodbyes but yea it wasnt so emotional as last time where we both were sad cause I was leaving, this time we both knew the we were going to see each other again & we didnt have to worry about it =)
Well on the last day went over to Wawasan, with that I managed to go to all the malls of KK during my return. Hmmm on my last trip Wawasan Plaza was the last mall before heading back, same for this trip lols… Anyway got to catch lunch with Jennet. Talked for awhile before she had to go back to work but yeah it was nice catching up with her too before leaving yea =) .JPG)
Jlo! Great seeing her 1 last time before going back lols =)
After that Eboy came & went for 2nd lunch lols at the same place that I was with Su just the day before too. Hmm of course Im glad I got to see him 1 last time before who knows when… I really wished… how my friends in Kk could come over to Singapore & meet the people here… It’s like the impossible dream but I know they would have been happy to see I was doing alright here yea =) 
The kancil driver finally graduates=)I like that both us were in this pic via the reflection=)
AeA hmm, it was great seeing him again after all these months to find that we were still good friends, that reassurance … Really there’s nothing like that in the world, to come back & find things are still alright, to find that you can still be friends with the people you grew up with…Hmm I remember that as we were preparing to part, I started to try & sum up just how important this friendship had meant to me & even more when I left KK like last year as he got in the car… But yeah in the end I just came up with a simple goodbye. In my heart I didnt know when I was going to see him or the rest again but again I wasn’t the bit worried or sad, I knew there was hope, AeA knew it too, A goodbye isn’t painful unless you’re never going to say hello again. Maybe that’s why I didn’t feel so bad this time around as I left KK. We knew the better truth yea =)
On my way back home , I got followed by this old guy in his 40s? who tried to rob me… bt yea right, came too far to be punked by someone’s lame dad… so when he put my headphones down, I pushed him off and got into a store… he didnt came in so I guess he ran… hahah i guess some things never change here lols….
On the last night… I thought alot about what I really wanted for my future.. I came up with blanks…. by 2mr night… I would be back to just sms & msning with them… It was sad & bittersweet to be reminded how nice my friends were & having to depart from them once again… It was late so I tried forgetting it and getting some sleep.. I ended up "forgeting it all night "
That night on the bed, I just put the whole world behind me. I wanted to stay there, in that night. More than anything I wanted before. But I knew I couldn’t. I was 20. I slept under a roof my father owned, in a bed my father bought. Nothing was mine. Except my heart. And my fears. And my growing knowledge…that not every road was going to lead home, anymore…
With all the confusion of my last day, the only true absolute truth was that I was going to miss my friends in KK .
Seeing my old house from here?
Land below the winds, my home
Leaving …
Gone
I know this is going to sound a bit creepy & possibly borderlining on what AeA would say "sissy or pussy:P" but yeah I was crying the other night at the hotel… Maybe it was the alcohol but I was sad not only how I could feel the way I did before the trip but also that for awhile I just stopped caring about KK.. But what saddened me the most was that eventually when I return back to singapore I know Iwill be back in the same mindset again…
3 years since we left KK…
Some days its easier then the others, sometimes I dont think about place at all the whole day & other days its all I can think about…
Goodbye yesterday, now it’s over and done. Still I hoped somewhere deep in your heart, yesterday will live on.
As I look back on all that’s happened–growing up, growing together, changing you, changing me…there were times when we dreamed together, when we laughed and cried together. As I look back on those days, I realize how much I truly miss my friends and how much I truly care for you guys. The past may be gone forever…and whatever the future holds, our todays make the memories of tomorrow. So, my lifetime friends, it is with all my heart that I send you my hope & care, hoping that you’ll always carry my smile with you, for all we have meant to each other and for whatever the future may hold.
Always on My Mind
Maybe I didn’t treat you
Quite as good as I should have
Maybe I didn’t love you
Quite as often as I could have
Little things I should have said and done
I just never took the time
You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind
Tell me, tell me that your sweet love hasn’t died
Give me, give me one more chance
To keep you satisfied, satisfied
Maybe I didn’t hold you
All those lonely, lonely times
And I guess I never told you
I’m so happy that you’re mine
If I make you feel second best
Girl, I’m sorry I was blind
You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind
Tell me, tell me that your sweet love hasn’t died
Give me, give me one more chance
To keep you satisfied, satisfied
Little things I should have said and done
I just never took the time
You were always on my mind
You are always on my mind
You are always on my mind
I had this weird epihpany when I was taking the MRT back to Ang Mo kio that my life was going to end… I never felt like that before, it felt very real that something in me had died and that well I really felt hmm it was the end of the road… I dont mean that in some suicidal way…bt felt like… a character in some story with just no more story to be drawn from.. I mean with me being rejected from a course, plus I dont wanna contiune my course(this was all back in March lols).. I just dunno what to do anymore… I just feel its time in a way… I know this sounds baloney or some cheap way to invoke attention but it aint… its just I feel … well if my life were to end… it just seemed… well …
Hmm editor’s note here, I think I realise now months after this .. Although I really didnt imagine it at the time, that feeling was probably about my life at KK had really come to end, and I finally found closure on it . That doesnt mean KK isnt home, it just means I no longer felt torn about certain things & felt I was betraying my friends in KK by enjoying myself here.
Happenstances
"Growing up happens in a heartbeat. One day you’re in diapers; next day you’re gone. But the memories of childhood stay with you for the long haul. I remember a place… a town, a house like a lot of other houses… a yard like a lot of other yards… a street like a lot of other streets. And the thing is… after all these years, I still look back… with wonder."
I saw the heartache coming. At least this time I wasn’t oblivious to everything. I must be getting better at this….which is really sad.
There were times back in Singapore , I wanted to just forget about KK . I’m not sure if it was in my darkest moments when I thought that because I was happy living at Singapore sometimes. It just felt all the long distance sometimes made me feel it was too hard so I just wanted to forget those 8 years growing up there. Hmm the funny thing is, that those were the best years of my life.
Let’s face it, we’ve changed … we’ve all changed. Somewhere between school ending and this moment, we’ve all gone our own directions. Hearts were broken, friendships diminished, new loves started and new people came into our lives. We no longer spend all our time together in our circle of friends, we no longer talk for hours about nothing at all. We’ve changed … some for the better and some for the worse. Some of us are finding love while others are trying to let go. Even though we’ve changed, we all know that even though were all finding our own place in the world, that when we find out love, when we let go of a love, when the tears fall or the happy smile spreads across our face … we’ll come to each other because no matter where this crazy world takes us and no matter what happens, nothing will ever change so much that we’re not all best friends forever.
Invariably, people usually get dissapointed when they come face to face to with their hopes and dreams, with friends, wondering if time would change them. I mean everyone is human right?The image that you build up in your mind is often unachieveable. Well I placed my friends back home on a very high pedestal… After these 2 weeks… I can say that they had met the image I had built up and exceeded it… With that, I really want to say thanks to everyone back home for all the love and support through the year yea~
Home
I Love You Always Forever
Feels like, I’m standing in a timeless dream
Of light mists, of pale amber rose
Feels like, I’m lost in a deep cloud of heavenly scent
Touching, discovering you
Those days, of warm rains come rushing back to me
Miles of windless, summer night air
Secret moments, shared in the heat of the afternoon
Out of the stillness, soft spoken words
Chorus:
I love you, always forever
Near and far, closer together
Everywhere, I will be with you
Everyday, I will devour you
I love you, always forever
Near and far, closer together
Everywhere, I will be with you
Everyday, I will devour you
You’ve got, the most unbelievable
blue eyes I’ve ever seen
You’ve got, me almost melt away
As we lay there, under a blue sky
with pure white stars
Exotic sweetness, a magical time
Say you’ll love, love me forever
Never stop, not for whatever
Near and far and always and
everywhere and everything
Say you’ll love, love me forever
Never stop, not for whatever
Near and far and always and
everywhere and everything
Say you’ll love, love me forever
Never stop, not for whatever
Near and far and always and
everywhere and everything
PS I love this song.. its hmm the 1st song that made me love music .. Hmm which coincidentaly AeA has it on his radio lols…
The following stuff is something I found on the net but I thought it was pretty great stuff yea =) & I recognise alotta my friends in it yea =)
Six years ago we stepped into high school … individuals seeking to do well, to find our identity, to find our best friend. We opened our lockers for the first time, looked at our schedules, thought about how great it was to finally be in high school. Six years ago we met our best friend, we went to our first school dance, had a crush on a cute senior. Six years ago, we couldn’t wait to get older.
Five years ago we stepped into high school believing that we owned the place. No longer the lowly freshman, we had a new attitude. Still individuals searching for themselves, looking to fit in, wanting to achieve something. We followed our daily routines, expanded our circle of friends, and talked about parties. Five years ago we made a new best friend, went to sweet sixteen’s every weekend, thought we were too mature for school dances. Five years ago we couldn’t wait to get older. Four years ago we became upper class man. We began to realize that we were growing up. We got our licenses, started driving out on weekends. We realized who our true friends were and cherished the times we spent with them. We found where we fit in, yet still seemed to be looking for something else.
Four years ago we started talking about college, thinking it was still so far away. We realized that time really does fly. But four years ago we still couldn’t wait to get older.
Three years ago we entered the school as seniors. Everything we did was the last … our last homecoming pep rally, our last season in a sport, our last birthday at home. Three years ago we took our time together for granted, we went to party after party on the weekend, we rebelled, and we learned. Three years ago, we still had the same best friend and cherished time spent with them. We started applying to college, far and near. We got accepted, we got rejected, we found exactly where we wanted to go. We realized that we would no longer have the comfort of home within a year. Now, we finally realize that we could have waited to get older. We realize that time has somehow slipped away and soon we will be saying good-bye. Saying good-bye to our friends, our family, our home. Maybe for a short time … maybe forever. Soon we will go to our senior prom, graduate, sit for the last time with everyone. It is the last time we will all be together, recognized as the class of 2004.
Two years ago, now we are getting excited about starting over, getting sad about what we will leave behind, getting anxious to move on. Now we realize just how important our best friends are, how much fun we really did have in the four years. Now we wish we could be younger. We wish we could have taken the time to appreciate every moment … to slow down time. Now we face having to say good-bye. A year ago we returned as different people. We have experienced dorm life, ate campus food, met new friends. We became new people. We will still be searching for our identity … to find our niche. We will have picked majors, changed majors, passed and failed at things we tried. We will know more about ourselves and what we want to become. We will remember the past times and look fondly at the memories, although we will have created new memories. Yet one thing will still remain. In one year, we will still have that same best friend. Maybe since kindergarten, maybe since high school, maybe a college roommate. That person can be found in new friends and old. Without them, we would have nothing.
Four years brought change. Friendship held us strong when things were shaky, in good times and bad, in laughter and tears, through boyfriends/girlfriends, bad grades, family problems, and love … our friends showed us that life was worth enjoying. With them, we wanted to grow up so quickly. Now, they are the only ones with whom we will remain forever young. Maybe the time has gone, the faces, I recall. But things in this life change very slowly, if they ever change at all….The scary part being that we’ve all been hit with change lately, and it doesn’t seem to have come slowly at all. Do you remember the day you left home? I’m sure that you do. But I’ll bet that what you remember even more clearly were the days in the week before you left. You know……the days that you spent getting addresses, phone numbers, and email addresses and trying to figure out how to say good-bye to everyone and a town that you’ve loved for as long as you could remember. Do you remember standing by your best friend’s car one night, after midnight, trying to sum up the meaning of a friendship you’d managed to maintain through thick and thin for years? Do you remember how hard that was, to think of how to say good-bye to that one person? It was nearly impossible, wasn’t it, to give them that one last hug and turn around and walk inside? Stepping back to take one last look at that the friends you love–it’s really scary. And you go and you tell yourself that you won’t ever ever replace your old friends. Or how you’ll never be this happy or sad again. It’s really crazy,what kinds of things can happen when you don’t mean for them to. You get to anew place full of strangers. You meet people who forget you. You forget people who you meet. But sometimes, you come across some extra ordinarily special people. They have tears to shed, too. They also left people that they love behind. They’re still in love with that guy or girl back home where they used to live, and they all want someone to talk to. So you talk. Talk is good. You form bonds you never thought you’d form. You call your old friends and tell them about the new ones. Sometimes, they don’t understand. Sometimes, you hurt their feelings. Sometimes everyone is a bit jealous. But we all miss our friends. Sometimes you think you’ve done the wrong thing by coming so far away from home. And sometimes when you start thinking like this, it’s time to make a change. Then you start to wonder if you can still recall all the faces from your past. So, you pick up the phone and you call them all just to say, "You know, I’m doing fine here. I wish you would visit all of my friends and this place. They would love you. And you would love them." Because, after all this is life. And life is a growing experience.
Growing experiences cause change is hard. But whatever doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger. You learn a lot when you leave. You learn youreally can do things for yourself without your parents looking over your shoulder–but you also learn you never realized how nice it was to have them there, just in case. More than anything, you learn how much your friends really mean to you. New friends come to mean a lot to you, but they can never compare your friends from home. Your friends from home teach you the meaning of friendship during your college years. Because you are apart from them you tend to express your feelings more — you learn how much these people truly affect your life.
You’ve got your best friend who exemplifies friendship-he messages you every week just to see how things are going. You feel like you never left home…he still knows everything about you, and even over the Internet can tell when something is wrong. He teaches you that distance doesn’t have to change a friendship at all. Then there is your other best friend. He rarely calls or writes and he doesn’t do the email thing. At times you think he has forgotten about you…until you hear from him. You hear from him for the first time in almost six months-and nothing has changed. You are still you and he is still him –even though you never talk you are as close as ever, you are still the best of friends. You find yourself expressing just how much you’re going to miss him — because you realize it now more than ever. He teaches you that true friends are friends in the soul…separation can never tear them apart.
Then there are those friends that you sort of lost touch with those last few months of high school and during the summer. You were busy, they were busy…but somehow, the magic of email has brought you closer together than you ever were in four years at the same school. You share secrets, heartache, and joy…it’s another person who cares about you as long as you will care about them too. Away from all the pettiness of high school, the people that you thought for sure you would lose touch with in college are the ones you’re keepin closest contact with–and you miss them more than you ever thought possible.
Sadly enough, there are also the friends that you were closest to in high school who drift too far for you to hold onto. You’ve both changed and suddenly you don’t have much to say to each other. But these people teach you a lesson too they make you value the others, the ones you have stayed close to, that much more. These distant friends, though you miss them when you rarely think of them, show you who your forever friends really are-and they make you appreciate those forevers much more than before. Life is rough. Distance severs some bonds and solidifies others…it puts a distance between you and the ones you love. But it teaches you so much. It forces your real friends to come to the front, while the rest take their places in the shadows of your memories. In life you will lose some people — but through real friendship — you keep the ones you will need most in your life. You learn the real meaning of the quote: "If you press me to say why we were friends, I can say no more than it was because she was she and I was I." The people who fit that mold are your forever friends.
There’s more… I know its long but… I just know that this has been one of the hardest year for me… It’s strange you know, on one hand I feel Im really doing great here since I’m more settled in with the people & friends here but yet my relationship with KK has been …
And yeah i know I said I thought something died as I left KK, but it maybe it was just the end of something simple & the begining of something far more complicated & beautiful. As it is now, it’s getting better. And I really hope nothing in the world will change me or my friends so much that we wont matter to each other .
With that, I say farwell to this blog. I will be moving to a new blog, I’ll post the new adress soon. Its been great yea =)
Blowin In The Wind
How many roads must a man walk down
Before you call him a man?
Yes, ‘n’ how many seas must a white dove sail
Before she sleeps in the sand?
Yes, ‘n’ how many times must the cannon balls fly
Before they’re forever banned?
The answer, my friend, is blowin’ in the wind,
The answer is blowin’ in the wind.
How many times must a man look up
Before he can see the sky?
Yes, ‘n’ how many ears must one man have
Before he can hear people cry?
Yes, ‘n’ how many deaths will it take till he knows
That too many people have died?
The answer, my friend, is blowin’ in the wind,
The answer is blowin’ in the wind.
How many years can a mountain exist
Before it’s washed to the sea?
Yes, ‘n’ how many years can some people exist
Before they’re allowed to be free?
Yes, ‘n’ how many times can a man turn his head,
Pretending he just doesn’t see?
The answer, my friend, is blowin’ in the wind,
The answer is blowin’ in the wind.
Yeah, its rili been awhile since i blogged… 4 or 5 months? Thats pretty insane ya~ I’ve been busy wid loads of stuff in da past few months~ … Well I went to my profile and saw the place where it would show the blog, but it said No Content, and yea it looked really annoying ya lols so just had to change that yea =)… That too, plus sum recent events happening, I feel its best to try and finish this damn post which I’ve been procrastinating since… well dec….Bt hey im just gonna talk about how 2006 was for me and some of my friends yea =) These few weeks have really been bz yea lols, talking about 2006, its only been a month since 2k7 but 2k6 seems really distant …Bt yea i’ll tink i’ll just start from hmm where 2006 began yea …
"Tonight, Tonight"
Time is never time at all
you can never ever leave without leaving a piece of youth
and our lives are forever changed
we will never be the same
the more you change the less you feel
believe, believe in me, believe
that life can change, that you’re not stuck in vain
we’re not the same, we’re different tonight
Tonight, so bright
tonight
and you know you’re never sure
but you’re sure you could be right
if you held yourself up to the light
and the embers never fade in your city by the lake
the place where you were born
believe, believe in me, believe
in the resolute urgency of now
and if you believe there’s not a tonight
tonight, so bright
tonight
We’ll crucify the insincere tonight
we’ll make things right, we’ll feel it all tonight
we’ll find a way to offer up the night tonight
the indescibable moments of your life tonight
the impossible is possible tonight
believe in me as i believe in you, tonight
Another Year, Another Day To Go By
"Know what’s weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything’s different."
Well 2006 had come, and well 2005 had been a really eventful year as I moved to Singapore, while me and the rest were living the fallout of the end of school and trying to enjoy "Freedom" yea . 2006, all I wanted from 2006 was to make it in Singapore and have some solid friends while not severing ties to KK. And yea, 2k5 had been crazy bt 2k6 would also have its share of great events as well yea =)
Hmm it began wid me still working at Balaclava and in fact growing to love the night life yeah. I mean the people, the rush, the live bands playing… Hmm It seemed like I had found a place where I cud make great friends again yeah. The staff at Balaclava were unlike any group of friends among my circle, they were older and hmm alot more experienced in things… It made feel young in a way, but hahah it was always great to hear whatever crazy stuff they had to say.
I was gettin very comfortable with my lifestyle at Singapore at the time. I was making 1.7k SD, that was alotta money for me yea.
For awhile I was quite rich, even maker more than what my Dad was making back in Malaysia yea. I got loads of clothes and a Nintendo DS yea.. Everyday went out to eat, and by the end of the money the money was gone… I look back now and I just wonder how stupid could I have been to waste so much money yea.
However as I continued to work there, I realised I was losing time to chat and time to keep in touch with my friends as i was working Mon - Sat until 2am. Ironic considering that I got this job so I could go back and see them all yea. It was a bit tough but i just wanted to make sure i would go back this year yea. Plus, the pressure of being the sole bread winner of the family was starting to really get to me bit by bit yea~
Save Me
I feel my wings have broken in your hands
I feel the words unspoken in side
Pull you under
And I would give you anything you want
Oooh
You were all I wanted
And all my dreams have fallen down
Crawling around (round)
Somebody save me
Let warm hands break right threw and
Somebody save me
I dont care how you do it just
Save
Save
Come on
I’ve been waiting for you
I see the world has folded in your heart
I feel the waves crash down inside
It pulled me under
I would give you anything you want
Oooh
You were all I wanted
All my dreams have fallen down
Crawling around (round)
Somebody save me
Let you warm hands break right threw and
Somebody save me
I dont care how you do it just
Save
Save
Come on
I’ve been waiting for you
All my dreams are on the ground
Crawling around (round)
Somebody save me
Let your warm hands break right threw and
Somebody save me
I dont care how you do it
Just save me
I’ll make this whole world shine for you
Just Save
Save
Come on
Im still waiting for you
Another One Returns Home
"Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave, and impossible to forget."
Hmm well working those hours left me little time to explore my new hometown yea. But with money not being an issue, when I went shopping, it wasnt window-shopping anymore yea =) It was pretty nice going and just trying all the drinks/food/buying clothes/whatever yea. And for awhile I guess, living here had its perks as well. Hmm well when they say Singapore has a fast-paced life, they aint kidding. It really was… and yeah soon I started catching up with all the MRT taking, eating out, and other metropolis quirks too yea.
Around Feb, I started making plans for coming back to KK. I was wondering just how it would be like… I remember those lines at the end of Stand By Me when one of the main characters returns to his hometown after the last real adventure he had with his friends before they parted ways, "Although our town had a small population and everyone knew everyone, it seemed like the whole world was there in our town. We had only been gone for two days and yet the town seemed different. Smaller." I wondered when I would come back to KK, could I ever like the city like I did before. I often wondered if KK had changed since I left yea.
Sometimes I wish things would stay the way they were … I wished life would stay still and we would have more time to enjoy the small and simple moments that make up our lives before times takes it away…
Well as the new year rolled in, one of my closest friend, Su, was heading back to KK for good… He was in KL studying before this. KL was considereably near to here, and in my mind at least I had one friend from home thats sorta near.. but yeah even that was to be taken.. He told me how KL was and I could tell he was missing KK , so yea I know its good for him. Im sure he’ll do fine over there, he’s was going to a Poly which AeA n Ang was also studying at the moment… For a sec… i realised … they were all in the same school again… and hmm this time I’m a thousand miles away… that rili sucked… bt I was glad that at least one friend among us was getting what he wanted … Well yea I could pretty much tell this year would be a hard one~
"Thirty-Three"
speak to me in a language i can hear
humour me before i have to go
deep in thought i forgive everyone
as the cluttered streets greet me once again
i know i can’t be late, supper’s waiting on the table
tomorrow’s just an excuse away
so I pull my collar up and face the cold, on my own
the earth laughs beneath my heavy feet
at the blasphemy in my old jangly walk
steeple guide me to my heart and home
the sun is out and up and down again
i know i’ll make it, love can last forever
graceful swans of never topple to the earth
and you can make it last, forever you
you can make it last, forever you
and for a moment i lose myself
wrapped up in the pleasures of the world
i’ve journeyed here and there and back again
but in the same old haunts i still find my friends
mysteries not ready to reveal
sympathies i’m ready to return
i’ll make the effort, love can last forever
graceful swans of never topple to the earth
tomorrow’s just an excuse
and you can make it last, forever you
you can make it last, forever you
Return Of The Future
"Change is never easy. You fight to hold on, you fight to let go."
Well I really started to get tired of the daily grind of waking up for and resting 2 hours , then 1 hour mrt ride and back to work till 2am. All that, and when I usually got back it was too late to chat with anyone from home. Here I was slaving away, and I realised that the job I took to get back to my friends once more could be potentially tearing it away… I realised at the point I was there at Singapore, my new hometown, and I didnt even take time to go and look around the place… It made me feel like I was missing great moments in life yea~
Well 1 day coming back home, after a hellacious work day comes a piece of paper … this paper is the 1 thats could totally be part of my year… its the 1 paper tat has my future on it… its the 1 that mite be taking 2 years off my life… yea it was the calling for National Service…
I remember all the fear of not knowin whats gonna happen … It said I had up to march 22 to reply… My results 4 my application was coming out tt month … If i didnt get enroled before the 22… Then I was screwD n so were my plans to study tfor the year… I was scared cause everyone I met at work was for nothing if i go away for 2 years. That it will just go away like some memory… I guess they just dont understand that every1 i knew at Singapore was rite dere at that pub, yea i know it may sound pathetic at the time but try movin to a place where u know no1 n tell me how easy it was.. I didnt want to restart all over again… Its wasnt fair… I ‘ve done tis too much… i didnt wanna do it again… i didnt wanna leave everything I knew … not yet… i wanna study along wif frens tis year.. i rili did .. i didnt want my nxt 2 years at a camp…
I know i was most scared cause of home… 2 years was a long time … would it be too long ???… Like the most of the year… I was wondering how much distance and time could affect a friendship…
A Soul To Squeze
I got a bad disease,
Up from my brain is where I bleed.
In sanity it seems,
Is got me by my soul to squeeze.
Well all the love from me,
With all these dying trees I scream.
The Angels in my dreams,
have turned to demons of greed,
That’s me.
Where I go I just don’t know,
I got to, got to, gotta take it slow.
When I find my piece of mind,
I’m gonna give you some of my good time.
Today loves smile on me,
It took away my pain, said please
All that you ride is free,
You gotta let it be,
Oh ya.
Where I go I just don’t know,
I got to, gotta, gotta take it slow.
When I find my piece of mind,
I’m gonna give you some of my good time.
You’re so polite indeed,
Well I got everything I need.
Oh make my days a breeze,
And take away my self destruction.
It’s bitter baby,
And it’s very sweet.
I’m on a rollercoaster,
but I’m on my feet.
Take me to the river,
Let me on your shore.
I be coming back baby,
I be coming back for more.
Doo doo doo doo dingle zing a dong bone, –> guitar solo? hahha maybe its like jack black in the school of rock yea
ba-di ba-da ba-zumba crunga cong gone bad,
like an apple gift but i went out and never said my pleasures
I’m much better but I won’t regret it never
Where I go I just dont’t know,
I got to, got to, gotta take it slow.
When I find my piece of mind,
I’m gonna give you some of my good time.
Where I go I just don’t know,
I might end up somewhere in Mexico.
When I find my piece of mind,
I’m gonna keep for the end of time!
The Games That Plays Us
"Love can tear you apart, it can kill you. But if you’re lucky, it can put you back together."
But sometimes in life, the flow of karma curves as it flows.
Well just a day after i got da letter 4 NS, i got bak a contact wif an old frend =) She was sum1 rili important last year, made me feel like more den i cud ever be, tat it was orite being just me. When she lost her frnstr a/c n wif dat, i lost contact wid her bt a week later i got a job n met many new ppl.As if karma was payin me bak. Now i got a letter which may cause a dent in relationships wif ppl at work , bt i got bak tt frendship wif her just a day later. Ironic? its like the universe takes sumthing me n den gives sumthing bak. Life sure is strange, no?
It felt so great 2 hear 4rm her again, its like it releaseD sum kinda weight off my shoulders. Gettin her reply tat morning, da 1st in 3 months wiped the whole NS thing clear off my mind. there r quite sum things 2 tok about. i hope she’s doin great at Kk… i hope i get 2 keep da frendships i ave into my adulthood & beyond….
Hmm I’ll just cut the crap n fast forward a few months, yea eventually I got to contact her more… bt hmm I dunno how to explain it… Its just.. hmm she may have been back in my life, but the guy who was left behind will probably never come back. So hmm I guess yeah its just another lesson… hmm you cant get what you always want even when you have it, sounds dumb but hahah it made sense at the time …
Linger
If you, if you could return, don’t let it burn, don’t let it fade.
I’m sure I’m not being rude, but it’s just your attitude,
It’s tearing me apart, It’s ruining everything.
I swore, I swore I would be true, and honey, so did you.
So why were you holding her hand? Is that the way we stand?
Were you lying all the time? Was it just a game to you?
But I’m in so deep. You know I’m such a fool for you.
You got me wrapped around your finger, ah, ha, ha.
Do you have to let it linger? Do you have to, do you have to,
Do you have to let it linger?
Oh, I thought the world of you.
I thought nothing could go wrong,
But I was wrong. I was wrong.
If you, if you could get by, trying not to lie,
Things wouldn’t be so confused and I wouldn’t feel so used,
But you always really knew, I just wanna be with you.
But I’m in so deep. You know I’m such a fool for you.
You got me wrapped around your finger, ah, ha, ha.
Do you have to let it linger? Do you have to, do you have to,
Do you have to let it linger?
And I’m in so deep. You know I’m such a fool for you.
You got me wrapped around your finger, ah, ha, ha.
Do you have to let it linger? Do you have to, do you have to,
Do you have to let it linger?
You know I’m such a fool for you.
You got me wrapped around your finger,
Do you have to let it linger? Do you have to, do you have to,
Do you have to let it linger?
The World News
Well 2006 hmm , well quite some stuff happened yea…
Hmm well Britney Spears divorced k-fed It was mainly cause he cheated on her.. Im glad cause Kevin Federline is such a free-loading pig yea. He was just Mr.Spears and his career is gonna be over now after his crappy Vanilla-Ice-esque album ya…
Well in wrestling, kurt angle quitD wwe and joinD tna. This so unexpected at the time. Kurt is an amazin performer, just c his match with HBK at Wrestlemania 21, thats one of my faves ya.. Bt well its weird not seein him in the WWE… Other den that, Dx came bak ya… Hmm well with a more cleaner image den lsat time, bt yea at least they’re bak lols.. Hmm wrestling is super boring these days, not alotta great storylines or wrestlers these days ya~
Hmm well if you’re into games, den yea Im sure ya know about the Wii Vs PS3 war ya..The next-gen of gaming is finally here ya. Hmm PS3 has a great graphics n support bt the Wii… i think Nintendo is wise wid Wii… I mean they start to realise graphics isnt everything… I mean soon graphics will come to a point where it cant b improved too much.. I tink Nintendo’s right by going with not how the games looks like,but how you play the games instead… So yea I have feeling Nintendo has a big chance on ts war yea lols
And also steve irwin died …
this is sad.. i mean.. he just made learning about animals so fun.. i tink he truly gave a boost of intrest about the animal world..
I mean really just imagine if he never went "Crickey!" Hmm the intrest of animals hmm wudn be the same, Im not saying the intrest is so great now but widout him itwud be so much lower… Yea he owez made learning about animals fun yea, tho honestly cant say I ever watched more den one episode of his shows ya.. But yea the mutual respect is dere,
u cud feel his passion yea… So yea so the condolences to his family.. The wildlife lost a great passionate admirer and the world lost a wonderful man yea…
Also on the last day of the year Saddam was hanged… I know he’s a tyrant and all … But i tink that capital punishment shud b abolished… Its too barbaric… No other choice but to execute him.. Hmm i really hope in the future that other punishments that wont take away lives will come about… Everyone shud be given a chance to restart yea.. Or at least just to live yea… I think no one should be able to take your life away and be right… What kind of goverment could support the lost of life, it’s not always about justice yea… I hope in the future, executions will be abolished…
Near Wild Heaven
"And the days went by like paper in the wind, everything changed and then changed again."
Well starting 2006, one major thing on my mind was school! I was wondering if I could meet and make some solid friends here.
And yeah I did manage to enroll into NYP into a new course for game programming =) All was good as I realised I know had a chance to make some solid friends over here yea.
Tho hahaha my first day at school was really hectic, I missed the first two days cause I was coming back to Singapore. Well when i went 2 s’pore it was 1am and i was basking in the afterglow of having a great trip bak home (which I will get to later) and all da great ppl dere and den i realised sumthin when i wantD 2 pay 4 da taxi, I lost my wallet! Well had 2 go around lookin 4ward till i gave up and went to the police and filed a report for it cuz inside had my IC card which i was worried tat sum psycho mite use it 2 borrow $ 4rm loan sharks, sounds far-fetchD bt things like tt happen round ere ya. Neways i went home like 5am and well my 1st day of sch was at 8am so yea got 3 hours of Zzz and went 2 sch.
Met up wid da frens i made at orientation, well i was kinda worried cuz i had 2 instantly snap bak 2 studyin as i hadnt been in a classroom since 2004, it seems s0o0o far away now all saints… Hmm neways 1st classs was a lecture style thing bout c++, kinda nuts like a computer doesnt understand abc, only the numbers 1s and 0s. so say if i wanted 2 say "a" to it, i wud ave 2 type the binary code 4 "a" like 100100 n capital "A" has its own codes, numbers oso have their own codes…
Hmm neways had a nice 3 hour break , which i luv bout poly life is da schedules, n da breaks b2ween class. Went bowling wid da class heheh, oso joined the bowling club, the guitar club (yea =) ) n the crazy adventure club, after the pulau sipa , i felt like i wantD more outdoor stuff ya.
Neways after a nt bad day of sch, had 2 go 2 work till 2am, so yea had 3 hours of rest n i was damn tired by the end of da day… bt i tink hahaha its been one heck of a day… n hey believe it or nt the police called me n told me they found the wallet, yea karma’s strange ya…
Well Poly Life was different from Secondary school in a way that it was essentially you and your friends in class studying and trying to make it by yourself. I mean in Sec School, the school spirirt was shoved down your throat. I mean you felt and knew you were a part of a school, but at Poly it was different. It was just you and friends going to lectures(and most of the times sleeping or forgetting most of the stuff taught during lec by the time we arrived home since alot of us din rili took notes adn instead we just googled what we needed to know) and attending some tutorials, it just felt really different then the school system I was used to. There were days where there were 3 hour breaks between lectures and we’d usually go bowling or play pool yea.
Well im glad that the ppl in my class were at least kind and easy-going yea. Met sum gr8 frens in class ya. Most of the ppl in my class are hmm hahah those kinda that are too-kind i mean that in a good and bad way…I mean kind as in they’re super polite bt bad in way , in the future the world mite not b so kind, and sensitive ppl owez tink tat hmm if they just be nice, by default ppl will b nice to dem. Thats a naive assumption yea … But hmm overall, im glad my class had ppl that got along wid each other well yea =)
At school i tried to join more CCAs, not that im despo to meet ppl, but in a way, i felt hmm poly mite b my last time where im given a chance to go n join a club, I shud just try and not regret tt i never did yea. Well tried for guitar club( yea, got a guitar =)), bowling club n oso Adventure club… Out of all these i tink i’ll defintely remember Adventure club the most yea =) Hmm there were trips to the jungle where monkeys tried to steal my handfon till i threw a drink away, there was dat camp at sch n at a camp area too.. yea it was fun rock-climbin, kayaking, and doing all sorts of outdoorsy stuff =)
"All you ever see and do, is all your life will ever be" I guess i realised that i shud just try my hand at alotta things b4 i dun get the chance yea..
Hmm also thru a fren, i found God again tis year
Hmm i always distanced myslef in the past from the those who were pious as i always thought that i could never give God that much respect yea … i remember tinkin how can they be real about how much they love God when there’s so much wrong in da world
bt hmm i tink i know now why, someone summed it up to me that its to have a taste of eternity when u go dere… that rili struck me hard
I mean tis life .. it just mite be 1 phase of our existence ya~ Well thanks to a fren who brought me bak in yea =)
Oso got to go to a chalet, which is a quintessential singapore experience…Well its basically like a resort/hotel near the beach n BBQ and stuff ya =) Well got to go on 2 chalets, 1 wid my class which was so-so in all honesty but another 1 wid another class which rili rawked… hmm now heres da thing I wanted 2 have 1 wid my class n another class bt in da end well aiks, both classes cudn come thru… in da end I ended up in group 4 ‘s chalet… pretty weird since I was the only 1 4rm my class dere bt yea it was okay since I knew a few of em oredi yea =)
And most of the ppl in the class were down to earth and easy to get along wid yea =) Well It was waaay bigger den my last one wid my class ya =) Hmm well there was a BBQ with great fud since got two ppl whole took cooking at sec 4 n hahaha had a damn weird bike ride tho I wont delve into tt too much yea… yea da whole chalet experinece was a blast yea =)… in a way its da 1 tt I wanted 2 ave n planned 4 b4 holidays, I got 2 know group 4 n yea they seem 2 b a bunch of nice ppl yea
well another hi-lite wid frens over at s’pore was tt i managed 2 Sentosa 4 da 1st time! Yea was looking 4ward 2 comin dere… I remember workin all those months last time at Bala tinkin I’ve been for 5 months or more n I still din get 2 c much of s’pore ya… so I guess I took the holiday 2 just hang out at places I haven’t been yet ya…
Sentosa is really fun, like its own mini town, wid its own mrts n buses yea It was great going around the island and being a beach bum yea =)
The part I recall most was well there was a point when I was kayaking in the seas with frens in a race which I lost bcuz I had 2 rescue a seas coconut floating adrift, well I remember just layin that boat…the world semmed to slow down n just seemed at peace for once…
Everything for once felt like it was gonna be orite… I mean tis past few months it was just me bein negative… I mean for awhile dere was so many things pullin me dwn (money, bein away 4rm kk, felt like I chose the wrong course at sch n etc.) its just I know we get brought down 2 make us stronger or wiser bt after so many months of crap I din feel a bit wiser nor stronger either yea… I just felt like I was more screwd n tt I screwd me n my whole family by choosing to come ere yea….
Bt yea at upon tat moment , I was just floating in my canoe, I remember taking each wave n current tt rocked the boat… I remember just lying there n gazing at the dusk with my fresh sea coconut when I felt this absolute calming of myself…It felt like the only time that mattered at the moment was the present, not the future nor the past…
For so long I just felt like I was in a vacuum-sealed chamber trapped with my gloom and despair. I could see the rest of the world on the other side of the glass bt I couldn’t feel what my friends wanted me to feel. Now the glass was shattered, and I could feel everything and it wasn’t bad anymore… It felt good…I was right dere where I wanted to be, I mean I realized finally had sum stable and gud frens over ere… yea, I have 2 admit tt I was worried in the beginning if I wud find ne gr8 frens over at s’pore bt yea I finally realized there were actually sum gud things going on 4 me at S’pore ya… So yea i guess it was pretty much a breakthrough point wen I realised that singapore was going to be an orite place to be yea =)
Turn!Turn!Turn!
To everything - turn, turn, turn
There is a season - turn, turn, turn
And a time for every purpose under heaven
A time to be born, a time to die
A time to plant, a time to reap
A time to kill, a time to heal
A time to laugh, a time to weep
To everything - turn, turn, turn
There is a season - turn, turn, turn
And a time for every purpose under heaven
A time to build up, a time to break down
A time to dance, a time to mourn
A time to cast away stones
A time to gather stones together
To everything - turn, turn, turn
There is a season - turn, turn, turn
And a time for every purpose under heaven
A time of war, a time of peace
A time of love, a time of hate
A time you may embrace
A time to refrain from embracing
To everything - turn, turn, turn
There is a season - turn, turn, turn
And a time for every purpose under heaven
A time to gain, a time to lose
A time to rend, a time to sew
A time to love, a time to hate
A time of peace, I swear it’s not too late!
Some You Give Away
"Life is full of moments, some you see from a mile away, some you never see coming at all"
Well near the end of of 2006, hmm i had less time to work yea …
And well it came to the point where i din come to work for 2 months and well i got sacked cause of it…
Heck the last time i was bloggin was around da time i was still workin dere, wen i had time 2 spare ya… i din mean to fizz out but i guess as time went on it just became easier for me not to go back.. i became used to the idea of not coming, the truth was that i wanted to leave around november but still wanted to work bt yea i guess i screwd up yea….
Hmm heres a excerpt from my 1st day of work a year ago in all its amazing spellin as well =)
Arghh
just came bck 4rm work
HAAS
damn tiring larrrrrrrr
have 2 memorise all dese Efing menus n prices
n happy hour rules shit
defintely a whole lot harder than i tot >.<
wah lau i dunno if i want tis kinda job
my feet walkin round 12 hours in ofice shoes
if i do tis 4 2 months
my feet sure have 2 amputate or sumthing
quite slotta stress …
im rili nt sure if i can go on hahaha
well i know i wont quit unless i get a better job
haha plus u know how clumsy i am
im gonna stuyd like may
after i make enuf $ 2 come bck ere n get sum stuff
then maybe i resign
Bt damn i can tell u if im leavin tis job it’ll b cuz im fired
i aint gonna quit (unlees got better job=))
Bt i aint gonna aive up on my mission 2 go back. I need tis job n bu God Im gonna fite thru tis Hell if tats wat it takes 2 get bck 2 evry1 bck home. I aint gonna let tis thing beat me… The fite continuessss
Well that was from around a year ago ya…
From a mind of a very tired & frustrated person yea… And hey, I will try to never ever ever use wah lau again in my blog lols~
Ironically well I really left the job cuz i got fired in the end…
I guess the hardest part in all of this was coming bak to Bala to return the uniform, comin back after bein gone for so long n seein every1 again ya….
.. but when i came bak … it was great =) i mean all the worry & dread was replaced wid well hmm a kinda sadness… An end of an era kinda sadness yea… seeing every1 again and the band… that smell… hmm and how nice every1 was, it was hard to tell dem tt yea i got sacked lols… yea in the end i ended up sad about a passing of a part of my life yea…
i remember i was in the locker clearin out my stuff wid another colleague who came wid me cos he got sacked as well lols,
i remember him sayin " I’m really going to miss this place…" I replied wid " Yeah, but its not out place anymore , huh?"
I have 2 say Balaclava helped me grow up rili fast n helped me adapt to da quick life-style of singapore.. and yea it may seem like i wasnt much for words 4 sum of my colleagues bt nothing cud b farther from the truth… Its cause of Bala that i matured a bit more, i realised that kindness and politeness wasnt owez enuf in winning over a person’s frenship, im glad to ave learn tat among hmm bar knowledge, all those crazy cockatails n tryin sum of dem as well ya… i wudn have got a chance if i din came ere to work ya.
i have 2 admit in class now, me n another fren r usually leadin da class, im not so sure i wud ave had the confidence if i din come to bala ya…
Im gonna miss da live bands like unXpected n EIC wen they were still kikin ass, all those same playlists of songs grew on me and showed me that live music did act matter ya.
Most of all i’ll miss da gr8 staff like samuel,one of the wisest guy i know ya, yuri n all his crazy stories n theres alot more and even some ppl that i wont be missing but haha i’ll just keep it to that…
balaclava… its a place where hahaha if ur close wid da staff, u wudn wanna leave ya =)
These were the 1st ppl tt i came to know of over ere in singapore
So yea you know, i just wanna thank bala for everything
thnaks for putting up wid my blurness
thanks to jason 4 hiring me, for taking in a kid who was desperately in need of frends comin 2 a new hometown
U know bala was doin fine widout me n im sure hahah it’ll do gr8 widout me lols
hmm yea i hope bala continues to do well =)
So Far Away
This is my life
its not what it was before
all these feelings i’ve shared
and these are my dreams that i’d never lived before
somebody shake me ’cause i i must be sleeping
Now that we’re here, it’s so far away
all the struggle we thought was in vain
all the mistakes, one life contained
they all finally start to go away
now that we’re here its so far away
and i feel like i can face the day
i can forgive and i’m not ashamed
to be the person that i am today
These are my words
that i’ve never said before
i think i’m doing okay
and this is the smile that i’ve never shown before
somebody shake me ’cause i i must be sleeping
Now that we’re here, it’s so far away
all the struggle we thought was in vain
all the mistakes, one life contained
they all finally start to go away
now that we’re here its so far away
and i feel like i can face the day
i can forgive and i’m not ashamed
to be the person that i am today
I’m so afraid of waking please don’t shake me afraid of waking please don’t shake me
A Stack Of Broken Hearts But None The Wiser
"in the end we will remember not the words of our enemies but the silence of our friends."
Hmmm i can pretty much say that 2006 was about trying to hold on to everyone and not trying to lose who I was as well yea…
I had to admit tho, I could feel that something complicated was coming over our friendships.. not just with me, but also with people and friends back home…
I remembered being scared. I was scared of how things would be as I was away each day longer. I mean we may say our friendship will last forever. And I do believe our friendship is strong and will never fail because neither one of us will allow it to, but we have no control over the distance that stands between us. It scares me knowing that "you" are going to be laughing and smiling with someone else other than me. And what scares me the most is that someone is going to take my space as your best friend. I can’t bare the thought that when I’m sad, someone else is going to be here for me to lean on as you will too.
There was that and well with all the fun I was having at singapore… I remember for some reasons feeling a bit guilty at times.. I felt in some way I was betraying everyone back in KK… It felt like I was moving on from KK which i didnt want… I mean around when school started, it was getting harder to contact everyone as we were all just busy…
There was a part of me that thought I might eventually be forgotten back in KK or perhaps i would eventually forget KK… There was a part of me that thought I could go on and just not try to struggle for keeping my friendships afloat at my darkest moments I admit…
Well it was especially hard to see that my frens back in KK, some of them werent close with each other anymore… It made me felt horrible, knowing that I was not there and could do nothing … It made you feel so hopeless… I mean… everyone in Singapore of course has psat connections, most of them will go on and talk about their Secondary school friends sometimes… And I admit sometimes, I felt a bit scared wondering if oneday my past would fade … And that I wouldnt have much to talk about … It wasnt easy too… There was no one here that heard of All Saints… or even Kota Kinabalu… I was pretty alone in that way…
Sometimes for every second passed I just felt farther away from home and the worst part was that a part of me was getting used to it… It never ended… How I felt about home…
But then there were of course frends who would stick by me, who understood how easy it was to lose frenship and really tried to keep in touch.. I was glad by the end of 2006, that most of my frends had not abandonned me even though I was so far away and it would have in been so easy for them to do so… And for that, thank you =) Keeping in touch with ppl 4rm bak home kept me from going insane when I was adjusting to this new hometown…
Despite all the confusion, I know I really miss KK … I know I say that so many times… but everytime I say it… I mean it with all my heart, I miss the the frends and places, everything that had been my home for the past 8 years yea…
An Jing (Silence)
zhi sheng xia gang qin pei wo tan le yi tian
Only piano is left here and it spent the whole day talking with me
shui zhao de da ti qin
The cello that’s been sleeeping
an jing de jiu jiu de
is silent and worn
wo xiang ni yi biao xian de fei chang ming bai
I think you have made it very clear
wo dong wo ye zhi dao
I understand and i know too
ni mei you she bu de
that there is no reluctance in you.
ni shuo ni ye hui nan guo wo bu xiang xin
You told me that you felt sad too. I don’t believe you
qian zhe ni pei zhe wo ye zhi shi ceng jin
Even though I used to hold your hands and you spent time with me, its all in the past
xi wang ta shi zhen de bi wo hai yao ai ni
I hope he really loves you more than I do
wo cai hui bi zi ji li kai
Only then I’ll force myself to leave
ni yao wo shuo duo nan kan
It was such a shame for me that you bring about our farewell
wo gen ben bu xiang fen kai
I simply dont want to end our relationship yet
wei shen me hai yao wo yong wei xiao lai dai guo ?
Why do you want me to be smiling and pretend nothing has happened?
wo mei you zhe zhong tian fen bao rong ni ye jie shou ta
I dont have this kind of talent to embrace you and at the same time accept him
bu yong dan xin de tai duo wo hui yi zhi hao hao guo
Please dont worry too much about me; I’ll continue to live as well
ni yi jing yuan yuan li kai wo ye hui man man zou kai
You are very far away from me now, and I’ll slowly walk away too
wei shen me wo lian fen kai dou qian jiu zhe ni ?
Why do I even let you choose how and when we break up?
wo zhen de mei you tian fen an jing de mei zhe me kuai
I really have no such talent, Silenced this quickly
wo hui xue zhe fang qi ni
I’ll learn to give you up
shi yin wei wo tai ai ni …
It’s all because I love you too much …
8 Days of Life: A Homecoming
2006… Let’s see… Well this year, I went off to school and …went to work and well left it too… hmm but the event that stands out the most of the whole year is no doubt the return back to KK at April… This trip… it had been 5 months since I had seen everyone and was already getting used to Singapore but this trip was to see how everything was back in KK and to see if some frendships were as close as ever. I wanted to see how much things would change with me gone from home. I was really hoping for a good ending for this trip with me leaving and being reaffirmed that home may be not be where I lived but would still have a place in my heart somehow… In retrospect, yeah I must be have been too young and naive to have that kinda hope but I just really hoped time wouldn’t change things…. Well I had placed so many hopes into these 8 days of being back home…
All That You Can’t Leave Behind
"There are things about your childhood you hold onto, because they were so much a part of you: the places you went, the people you know. "
Well I got to go on a trip after I found out that everyone had holiday at the time, but I didnt know when bookin the flight that I would end up missing the 1st two days of class.
Well took a taxi to Johor Bahru at 4am… Tho I couldn’t get any sleep, I mean hahaha I was coming back home … It was around 9am when I arrived back to KK. It felt great being back in the crummy Airasia airport, the 1st thing tt hit me was the heat yea, its so hot in KK, I had nearly forgotten just how hot it was. Well Seow was there to pick me and my bro up,it was great seein an old face as well… Hmm havent seen him since he came to Singapore yea~
I remember the feelings running through me when I walked around at CPS… I guess I was kind of suprised, it was a feeling that I didnt really expect…You see, I thought being away from KK would make everything seem special and sacred.. But that wasnt the case.. instead I felt .. like there was nothing special… Im not saying KK didn’t changed … It’s just I realised nothing changed within me.. I felt the same way about KK at that time before I had left KK… Its been months since I’ve been to Damai but when I got there it was like I had never left .. like I never moved to s’pore.. like s’pore never happenD and I was still living at Kolombong and still living at KK with all everyone…
And I guess that feeling was so much better then the
"KK - feeling like a place I would hardly get to see and should treasure every second of it cause it will months till I will be there again - kinda feeling". That familarity just took over me and I guess it never truly leaves you , afterall I spent 8 long and odd years growin up in that town… which .. makes it so hard to leave this town… I know when i get back 2 s’pore its gonna b so so hard goin on when im miles away 4rm all my best frens..
On the last few nights after everything, I was tearing up thinking about how could I leave this life at KK, of seeing everyone on every weekend…
I was a wreck on the inside, felt shot and gone..felt my logic was torn apart.. and my heart felt heavy … I really mean it felt heavy… I had never really felt that sad before I guess… it was just like on the morning when i woke up on the last day at KK when i knew I would not be seeing everyonw and KK for some time … it wasnt going to go away…but i guess i should be happy that if I felt this sad it could only mean I was missing something before that was really,really good…..
Home
Another summer day
Is come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
Mmmmmmmm
Maybe surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh I miss you, you know
And I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
"I’m fine baby, how are you?"
Well I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that
Another aeroplane
Another sunny place
I’m lucky I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I’ve got to go home
Let me go home
I’m just too far from where you are
I wanna come home
And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life
It’s like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
But this was not your dream
But you always believe in me
Another winter day has come
And gone away
And even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home
Let me go home
And I’m surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel alone
Oh, let go home
Oh, I miss you, you know
Let me go home
I’ve had my run
Baby, I’m done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
It will all right
I’ll be home tonight
I’m coming back home
Lifetime Piling Up
"In your life you meet people, some you never think about again, some you wonder what happened to them, there are some that you wonder if they ever think about you and then there are some you wish you never had to think about again… but you do. "
After checkin into the promenade,I met up with Su outside Fun Square… hahah when i saw him it seemed like the time lost between us was back and hmm although I have not spoken to him in months , I realised that it didnt mean anything… It really felt like I had not left KK yea….
Later met up with Ang and David and we were tokin bout the trip i was planning, I remember sitting down there talking about the last time we were at Kyros Kebab which was with Chan I think, and now seeing Ang make all those calls to get friends around town to meet up with me because I was back didnt make feel like I was VIP or something.. It just made me so felt so humbled and glad to have friends like that and to be back home…It was great getting to go out with so many familiar faces again yea. And i could KK had changed in a way, that te fashion scene was obviously better than before. Plus at the time was a shuffling dance craze had come over KK yea~
Some days later I Went back to All Saints, afterwards 2 pick up my SPM cert… I sat at the Tuaran mee shop and met with AeA , hahah yeah it has really been awhile since I saw the crazy guy .. and yeah here we were back in that shop across sch like last time… Hmm it felt a bit akward at that table as the last time we where there was probably when he was applying for Form 6… Alot has happened since then yeah… Well went into the sch after meeting up with some others . Saw Teacher Christie Liong and talked a bit about how Singapore was =) n oso MrTan who i tink was either 2 embarassed 2 rili say nething or mebe din rili recognise us, bt cant blame dem cuz a batch of students come and leave teachers every year ya… Yeah.. Wel for me seeing your teachers again, trying to think of a way to say thanks for everything, their patience and wisdom, but hmm most people just shrug it off or are too embarassed too as well… But yet, I wasnt till i finished school till i realised how much I owe them… Not just for being teachers but hmm as genuine people who gave their time to make us better people for the world yea…
Hmm well saw the form 6 gang , it was nice seeing every1 after so long =) Catched up wid sum of em before leaving All Saints… hmm the SPM cert is probably my last real reason for comin bak 2 All Saints.. n once da Form 6 graduates, i dun tink i ave nemore reasons 2 drop by.. Bt hmm All Saints turned out 2 b a gr8 place 4 me study n grow up… I’m happy that i came to All Saints… a stark contrast to the mindset at form 1, where all i wanted was to go to MN… Hmm and yeah I know i screwed up a bit with MN as I never went back I like always said I would, but yeah everything worked out great for the most of us so yea no regrets here yea.
Well i called up an old fren Fong for awhile, it was nice catchin up wid her, i was suprised 2 hear bout her life now n her new job n stuff =) Shes left for KL soon afterwards… Hmm i tink she’ll always have a place in my life… I know this going to sound uber lame but hmm honestly it was her and another frend that got me out of my shell at form 3.. i didnt have the guts 2 tok any girls till she took intrest in talkin wid me. It wasnt till she took intrest just to come over and ask how I was doing or just a regular "Hi" .. so yea i owe her alot as well and im glad 2 know her life is gettin better and i can only wish for the best for her when she moves 2 kl. It seems so far away since we were all sching together, me, her n AeA …
Tat age seemed like it was in the past life or sumthing.. It was a time before the confusion as to what we were going to do next after school ended,before all the madness in form 6, before the idea that coming to Singapore had even been thought of…. and we were just havin fun before the end of sch… I remember walking out of AeA’s house with her, Ang, and Aea before SPM. Just walking and enjoying the night, I remember thinking in my deepest heart of hearts that things would always be like that … Even though things arent ever going to be like that anymore, im glad at least knowing that everyone is doing good in their lives now.
And for at least one night at KK it was great to know that those memories that I had cherished werent just mines, but others as well…
Dakota
Thinking about thinking of you
Summertime think it was June
Yeah think it was June
Laying back, head on the grass
Children grown having some laughs
Yeah having some laughs.
Made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one
The one
Made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one
The one
Drinking back, drinking for two
Drinking with you
And drinking was new
Sleeping in the back of my car
We never went far
Needed to go far
Made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one
The one
Made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one
The one
I dont know where we are going now
I dont know where we are going now
Wake up cold coffee and juice
Remembering you
What happened to you?
I wonder if well meet again
Talk about us instead
Talk about why did it end
Made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one
The one
Made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one
The one
I dont know where we are going now
I dont know where we are going now
So take a look at me now
These Are The Living Years Of Our Lives
"strangers are exciting, their mystery never ends — but there’s nothing like looking at your own history in the faces of your friends."
The next day,Ang and david asked me to join them to Pulau Sapi , at 1st i was tinkin of passing on the trip … bt hmm decided mite as well go, i ended up lovin every moment of the trip 2 da islands as well =) Went 2 Pulau Sapi by boat,it was awesome hangin out n lookin at da sea, feelin da wind n hittin the sea on da boat =) When we got to the island we decided to go swimming in the ocean, Up to that point, I really couldnt remember the last time i swam at the beach yea. I mean all that time in KK, Tanjung Aru was kind too dirty to swim so I guess it would probably have to be at Boston when I last swam at the sea =)
Hmm well the sun was beaming which hahah was perfect for beach-bumming=) Well we swam alot and got stung by something, luckily nt jelly fish, bt sumthing else like very small. Since it didnt seem serious, we didnt care much as we were havin loads of fun. We also got sum bread to feed the sch of fishes, it was gr8 being wid frens and seein things like this with them. I mean nature, it wasnt like going to town or whatever, it felt like we were all the same, amazed at the amazing spectactle that we were seeing and being part of that wonder as well yea. I know i get impressed easily… But hmm seeing the scenic vista of the ocean, the warmth of the sun rays and the smell of the sea, all there waiting for you to take it in would impress anyone yea =) Well Ang cut himself on da coral rocks so we had 2 leave .Later on, we all were badly sunburnD hahaha..
Went back home wondering along the way just when we might be doing something great like that again… Anyway I really enjoyed that day at the islands lols =)
Later on that night, we went down to KK to meet up wid the rest. One part AeA was calling for chicken rice at where we tot was Jennet’s house bt it turned out to be some stranger’s house Hahaha =) well we picked up everyone and drove to CP yea. We walked around a bit before going ot watch a movie yeah.
After the movie there was one part when mandy asked me to looked around at Growball, when I saw the changes when I walked around I felt like i was in sum kinda cheesy movie scene like a guy who left his town and came back to see how great it has become. Granted, just seeing the Growball extensions doesnt count as seeing how the whole town has changed but nethertheless that moment had its touch of magic yea. It was very gr8 and a tad surreal .
Only thing missing was some song playing in the background yea, other den that it was all such a Hollywood moment =)
Chasing Cars
We’ll do it all
Everything
On our own
We don’t need
Anything
Or anyone
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
I don’t quite know
How to say
How I feel
Those three words
Are said too much
They’re not enough
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Forget what we’re told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that’s bursting into life
Let’s waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads
I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Forget what we’re told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that’s bursting into life
All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they’re all I can see
I don’t know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
The Spaces Between Heaven & Earth
"The years go by. The time, it does fly. Every single second is a moment in time that passes oh so quick and it seems like nothing. But when you’re looking back … well, it amounts to everything."
Well hmm perhaps the highlight of the trip was the Karumbunai stayover yea …Well there was so much fun to be had in those two days but lurking in those carefree times were also troubles, so troubling that I almost lost a best fren…
Well 1st me n AeA went 2 play pool, owe him at least a game, ended up paying for 5 games cuz I kept losing hahaha. But yea Im planning on making him pay for all the games when I get back nxt time lols.
After that it was time to start picking people for the Karumbunai trip yea…
We went to Sm All Saints and called a fren( i dun wanna say any names so i’ll just call tis fren, GudFren) to make sure dat there was no1 2 pick up left, they told me and AeA it was settled and we din need 2 pick em up. Later we went and bought food 4 da trip.At 1st Nadia wantD 2 meet up at CP 2 watch movie bt I was so glad got 2 convince her 2 meet up at Karumbunai . So we met Su n Kenneth who were waitin quite awhile so i gave them the fud 4 da trip in the meantime since they were hungry. We went 2 da lobby n checked in. Su n us split up cuz they wantD 2 eat n we we had 2 stay 2 meet Nadia.
Well later she came in her Mercedez Bens =)It was rili nice seein her after such a long time. Well we toked bout wats goin on n had lunch ya. I decide 2 leave my fon in room 2 charge since it was dead. The Form6 gang oso arrived as well n we toked wid dem n took dem 2 da room. Well b4 i rili knew it, it was 3pm n Su was callin me n sayin he was leavin, he was pissed off cuz i din rili spend time with him or Kenneth like I completely avoided them which well which was true. I spent all my time with AeA n Nadia instead wid him , but it was simply cause i lost track of time and I didnt get to contact him and I thought he was staying so I thought I would meet him later on.Well there was also sum misunderstandings between my sms replies back 2 him, the replies which I didnt type were telling him to leave if he was so angry, its not important who did type the replies as they too were looking out for me yea.. Well it was the final nail in the coffin as he left Karumbunai… i was quite pissed tt i wasnt gonna have the weekend 2 spend wid 1 of my best frens, nt only tat, i may stand the chance of losing his frendship yea…
Well i realised all da food which i just bought was still with Su. Later on Gudfren met us and was pissed off cuz alotta things… Me,AeA n nadia n the "gudfrens" were sitting at the beach n had 2 have sum disscussions bout everything, why Su left n oso AeA accidentally hung up on 1 of dem, well AeA tot the person was finished tokin so he din know… Oso remember when we called Gudfren at All saints 2 make sure dere were no more ppl 2 pick up cuz it was settled? Well turnD out the person tt was supposed 2 pick dem up was Nadia. The thing is that no1 called her 2 pick dem up …1part i think the tension was thick when me n AeA was almost in an arguement wid him .. i din rili c how all da probelms were supposed 2 b our fault bt at 1 point i just lookd at Gudfren n i just sed Hey man lets just drop da heat n just 4get it n njoy da day, Its vacation, we shud b happy, luckily he felt da same. So tt probelm was defused bt Su was still gone…
Me n AeA managed 2 relax afterwards even tho i tink yea he had plenty of reasons 4 being pissed .. bt after the air cooled down.Well after all the crazy drama … Me and AeA found the rest by the beach and the ocean… And yeah, it felt great to just enjoy what was going at that moment and for once not let any future troubles or the worlds troubles linger on our minds… I remember hahah looking at the sunset at the back, for a second I forgot that I was going to have to go back to Singapore and leave this place… For a second I thought I was going back to my old home at Kolombong again… Hmm the sky was really beautiful that day… You couldn’t tell where Heaven began and Earth started there yea =)
The form 6 gang… Hmm although I had never really went to school with most of them , I’m really glad to have met them now yea… I think about how every choice we make and how it leads up to this moment sometimes… Like well how I almost went into Form 6 but backed out at the last moment, I felt like I never wanted to put on the white & green uniform again… I guess I felt like I was a traitor somehow when I wore them, traitor to some friends to another school… But its weird … If I had decided to go into Form 6 I wouldnt have bothered with looking for other schools… I mean I came to Singapore mainly because of school, and my whole family decided to move too, but it was mainly because of my studies and my choice.. Before that, the plan was to head to Canada… Hmm I guess I’ll never really know if I had taken that road, going into form 6 , would I have still be as close with them now if I didnt? How I would never have had to leave KK so soon… but actually leaving KK for me as unavoidable as I was there on Student Permit and couldnt live there to begin with… So I guess leaving was fated from the start, from the moment those 8 years growing up there began yeah…
Well we went back to the room before seeing Nadia off.. It was nice fo her to drive here and visit us yeah.. I thought that was really nice of her and later on we cooled off back at the room .Went for 1 last dinner at somewhere near Damai after leavin karumbunai. After that it was goodbyes to them all…
Baby I Love Your Ways
Shadows grow so long before my eyes
And they’re moving across the page
Suddenly the day turns into night
Far away from the city but don’t hesitate
‘Cause your love just won’t wait hey
Ooh baby I love your way every day
Wanna tell you I love your way every day
Wanna be with you night and day
Moon appears to shine and light the sky
With the help of some fireflies
I wonder how they have the power shine shine shine
I can see them under the pines
But don’t hesitate ’cause your love won’t wait hey
Ooh baby I love your way every day
Wanna tell you I love your way every day
Wanna be with you night and day uh yeah
But don’t hesitate ’cause your love won’t wait
I can see the sunset in your eyes
Brown and grey and blue besides
Clouds are stalking islands in the sun
Wish I could dry one out of season
But don’t hesitate ’cause your love just won’t wait hey
Ooh baby I love your way every day
Wanna tell you I love your way uuhh
Wanna be with you night and day
Ooh baby I love your way every day
Wanna tell you I love your way uuhh
Wanna be with you night and day
The Leaving Song
"no one knows you like a person with whom you’ve shared a childhood. no one will ever understand you in quite the same way."
We pickD up alex who reminds me of AeA as well…Drove around midnite looking at the nite life haha. AeA fell alseep half way… Hmm tho i was glad alex came even tho he rili came just 4 sleeping ya, bt hmm haha it was gr8 goofin and tokin crap wid him n AeA .Well Jennet came in the nxt morning tho i felt kinda bad 4 her as she juz came in 4 da check out bt hmm a J-Lo at check out is better nt gettin 2 c her ya =)
Well after we checkDout , I remember going down to Damai but the rest of the day is a blur yeah…
I know I said Karumbunai was the highlight of the trip, but going to meet Su and trying to salvage our friendship was perhaps the "good ending scene "yea =)
Well on da nite before my last day at KK i called Su and asked him to meet on my last day at KK. I didnt want to leave KK with 1 less best frend
Well talked with Su about what went down at Karumbunai, well he was kinda angry how kenneth was treated. And in all honesty looking back at it, it was a dumb move on my part to abandon them yea…He also didnt wanna risk me gettin in trouble since there were 2 many ppl in da room n i mite ave 2 pay extra. I remember telling him i wasnt so much as angry, bt sad tt 1 of my best fren din stay over. I really wished he had stayed n enjoyed all the fun later after he left…
Well there was 1 part we were talking about how it wud be awhile till the nxt time we meet… It really wasnt easy .. knowing that we didnt know how long till we got to meet again… Talked bout life at s’pore and how things were at KK… i was kinda angry that some of my frens met up so little considerin how they were in da same town. I just felt like they were takin their frnships 4 grantD … Hmm it was great talking with Su and reaffirming that he was still my frend…One thing about Su that I will always respect about him is how he will never give up on a friend… Around the madness of all the new people of form 6 with our old people from All Saints of Form 5. A good friend of SU went into form 6 and well everyone seemed to turn on him, it seemed like he had fallen out with some fo his closest friends who had supported him through Form 1-5. I knew about the whole mess but wasnt in Form 6 so couldnt help much, but Su… He went to bat for him like a true friend to the end, I remember sitting at Palm Square with him and him being genuinely angry for his friend …Yeah sure, was his friend well right or wrong to be desserted? Well thats not the point yea, Su stuck by his friend till the end ya…
By the end.. when I was about to leave , I could tell he was sad, I mean here we were, two great friends, separated in distance by our own different lives… we knew that it would be so hard to say goodbye … bt i was glad we got 2 make things up as i left KK… I remember when I was outside Wawasan, I was thinking about how to try and sum up a 5 year friendship and how much i really valued it to Su … but you know … hahaha all i come up with was a "thanks for everything" … But yeah, I really meant that with all my heart for everything, and not just him but that goes for AeA..Ang…and all the others as well for being there for me yea …word for word ….I will really hold everything from KK dearly…
I would eventually meet Su later in the year when he came to KL and tho it was just a weekend at KL, i rili was glad to see an old face again yea, he was doin fine and even tho we dont contact each other often till say we meet up bt hahah I guess some friends are like that yea..
Bt hey those 8 days back in KK… it was probably my favourite 8 days of the whole year yea.. im just glad i ave such gr8 frens tat make feel bigger n more den i ever cud be in so many ways… ppl who make feel like i belong n give me sanctuary when i need it da most and i find it odd now how i wishD i wud ave joinD form 6 … i mite ave end up never havin 2 move, who knows of da possibilites, of what could have been … bt yea tat chapter has passed and i cant do nething bout it bt im glad i still ave da frendships.. i feel blessD in tt regard… ThnX 4 makin my trip back worth every second of my life guys…
Best I Ever Had (Grey Sky Morning)
Vertical Horizon
So you sailed away
Into a grey sky morning
Now I’m here to stay
Love can be so boring
Nothing’s quite the same now
I just say your name now
But it’s not so bad
You’re only the best I ever had
You don’t want me back
You’re just the best I ever had
So you stole my world
Now I’m just a phony
Remembering the girl
Leaves me down and lonely
Send it in a letter
Make yourself feel better
But it’s not so bad
You’re only the best I ever had
You don’t need me back
You’re just the best I ever had
And it may take some time to
Patch me up inside
But I can’t take it so I
Run away and hide
And I may find in time that
You were always right
You’re always right
So you sailed away
Into a grey sky morning
Now I’m here to stay
Love can be so boring
What was it you wanted
Could it be I’m haunted
But it’s not so bad
You’re only the best I ever had
I don’t want you back
You’re just the best I ever had
The best I ever had
The best I ever
And Here We Are In The End & The Begining
"New Year’s eve is like every other night; there is no pause in the march of the universe, no breathless moment of silence among created things that the passage of another twelve months may be noted; and yet no man has quite the same thoughts this evening that come with the coming of darkness on other nights."
2006 …Hmm what a year, overall I would have to say it was a pretty awesome year. I mean I got a good job and well hey I got to go back home and find that well some things will always remain yea… And yeah, got to make some good friends over in Singapore as well yea
I guess last year was about everyone leaving home and finding their places after high school… So yea then this year would have to be about just moving on and adjusting to the new lives we have and yet remembering the people who helped built up our lives before…
2006 is gone and well 2007 is here… I wonder what 2007 will bring(since I’m writing this now and its already March 2007, I can say that if 2006 is about stabilizing my life and just fitting together the puzzle of where my plans for life and friends lie, then 2007 seems to be about blowing that puzzle up, 2007 seems to be pretty messed up year for me so far)
Anyway yeah, 2006 was a good year with all the new friends and getting to the lifestyles over at Singapore and well also keeping in touch with my friends over in KK, who are well some of the most important people in the world to me ya, well Cheers to 2006!( 4 months late =) )
Time of Your Life
Another turning point
A fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist
Directs you where to go
So make the best of this test
and don’t ask why
It’s not a question, but a lesson
learned in time
It’s something unpredictable
But in the end it’s right
I hope you had the time of your life
So take the photographs
And still frames in your mind
Hang it on a shelf
In good health and good times
Tattoos of memories
And Dad’s kin on trial
For what it’s worth
It was worth all the while
It’s something unpredictable
But in the end it’s right
I hope you had the time of your life
It’s something unpredictable
But in the end it’s right
I hope you had the time of your life
It’s something unpreditable
But in the end it’s right
I hope you had the time of your life
**There! Its finally done!!!!!!!!!! Tho damn , I gotta get to the crap that was happening between January till March yea, and its well stuff that make or break my year yea…**
Punchdrunk Lovesick TwistedLogic Singalong
Hey dere~~ Yea October is ere~ 2 more months n tis year is actually done… Life’s been kinda bz 4 holidays so far yea~ Alot’s been going on so far… arm alotta da stuff on da post is well a bit outta date yea~ Hmm neways just a recap of da merry holidays yea =)
Hmm 1st off, the whole IMF thingy turned out well I tot it was gonna b hectic 4 me bt it was da complete opposite cuz dere were no customers at all… i was literally just standin in da same 4 -6 feet radius 4 1 whole nite since dere was no1 bt 1 couple at my area, its cuz they close da main front entrance due 2 IMF n da back entrance oso blocked by tis big white wall, u had 2wok 2 da sign on it n c tt we were still open ya. Tho yea da aftermath was dat most of da part-timers got laid off 4 a week. Arr kinda pissed at 1st cuz i got 1 week off n my 64 hour plan 2 get incentive was thrown outta da window wid dat.. bt hmm well if it din happend on da other hand other things wudn ave got 2 happen so yea its gud in a way ya~ Bt hey there was a protest neways bt nt as extreme tho yea~
Hmm another thing , well managed 2 Sentosa 4 da 1st time! Yea was looking 4ward 2 comin dere… I remember workin all those months last time tinkin I’ve been 4 5 months or more n I still din get 2 c much of s’pore ya… so I guess I took the holiday 2 just hang out at places I haven’t been yet ya… I ave 2 admit dere was a point when I was kayaking in the seas with frens in a race which I lost bcuz I had 2 rescue a seas coconut floating adrift, well I remember just layin that boat…the world semmed to slow down n just seemed at peace for once… everything for once felt like it was gonna b orite… I mean tis past few months it was just me bein negative… I mean for awhile dere was so many things pullin me dwn (money, bein away 4rm kk, felt like I chose the wrong course at sch n etc.) its just I know we get brought down 2 make us stronger or wiser bt after so many months of crap I din feel a bit wiser nor stronger either yea… I just felt like I was more screwd n tt I screwd me n my whole family by choosing to come ere yea…. Bt yea at upon tat moment of wonder, I was just floating in my canoe, I remember taking each wave n current tt rocked the boat… I remember just lying there n gazing at the dusk with my fresh sea coconut when I felt this absolute calming of myself… For so long I just felt like I was in a vacuum-sealed chamber with my gloom n despair. I could see the rest of the world on the other side of the glass bt I couldn’t feel what my friends wanted me to feel. Now the glass was shattered, and I could feel everything and it wasn’t bad nemore… it was gud =) I was rite dere where I wanted to be, I mean I realized finally had sum stable n gud frens over ere… yea, I have 2 admit tt I was worried in the beginning if I wud find ne gr8 frens over at s’pore bt yea I finally realized there were actually sum gud things going on 4 me at S’pore ya…
Other den tt I went 4 steamboat din wid buddies , yea nt big news bt I ave 2 admit 1st time I had 1 in s’pore yea =) hahah it was gr8 havin frens who took up F & N course at secondary sch since they did all da cookin yea =) Hmm oso got 2 go a chalet… hmm now heres da thing I wanted 2 have 1 wid my class n group 2 yea bt in da end well aiks, both classes cudn come thru… n in da end I ended up in group 4 ‘s chalet… pretty weird since I was the only 1 in my class dere bt yea it was okay since I knew a few of em oredi yea =) Well It was waaay bigger den my last one wid my class ya =) Hmm lets c well got 2 BBQ, went 4 a swim( I finally learned how 2 backstroke!!!!! CAN U DIG OUT?!?(If u dun get that, go c The Warriors lolls, crazy movie =)) n hahaha had a damn weird bike ride tho I wont delve into tt too much yea… we got our sch test results durin da chalet n yea I din fail maths… tat was rili gr8 considerin I knew I screwed up big time 4 da test tho I did fail da main course which was c++ bt yea I dunmind cuz I had tt comni ya ) hmm o yea n sneezing kitten was also stayin wid us as well… yea da whole chalet was a blast yea =)… in a way its da 1 tt I wanted 2 ave n planned 4 b4 holidays, I got 2 know group 4 n yea they seem 2 b a bunch of nice ppl yea… so yea hope 2 ave dat whole course chalet nxt break mebe yea =)
O yea during tis holiday… dere was in incident bak at kk in damai bout a boy who well won a DOTA game over a bunch of teenagers.. after tt da sore losers brought out da 13 year old kid n just terrorized him n roughed him up while videocamin da whole thing wid their handfon cam… the stupidest was 1 guy who came in posed wid da beaten up kid n just gave a big smile 2 da cam wid da kid… wat the dumbass din know was tt da video wud end up bein seen by almost every1 in kk… n yea every1 was furious at da dumb gang 4 doin sumthing so stupid ya… heard in da end da police put dem in jail or sumthing so yea justice served yea =) hahah yea I know tis is quite awhile back yea…
Hmm well 4 da holidays, I went job huntin wid sum frens n hey landed 1 ya =) arr tho I ave 2 admit dat da new job was kinda sucky since the waiterin felt so lame n easier compared 2 Bala, I mean da staff were all high n mighty n u become a veteran dere if u work more den a month I guess… lets c dere is the host, a person scheduled to stand at da front door n greet customers … the thing is tt my place has no business… remember tt IMF thing were I tot it was da most empty place ever? God, I was never more wrong in my life… I tink there are 8 or 9 customers for 4 hours? Wait o yea dere is a guy called da floater who just collects da plates n dishes n bring dem 2 da kitchen.. n finally da waiter who well takes order… well I mean at Bala, a floor waiter had 2 everything above n plus dat wen deres not owez a standin table n u gotta find dat customer n give him his drink while he’s walkin around dab r ya… I mean well yea hahah its just I feel da café is wrongly using its resources n staff… bt hmm I think the worst thing is tt FIR’s 天天夜夜 or How Do I Live!!!! I now hate tt song cuz da main chorus is playin at a tower nearby n loopin 4 wat seem 2 b forever at da café… its rili able 2 break da most sane man… I mean hosting n waitin at da entrance 4 hours wid FIR on isn’t work nemore, its like a Nazi experiment to see how long the brain can take before it pops ya. Well im still workin at Bala bt hmm takin a break cuz sch startin up n I just feel I need time 2 focus on sch ya
Hmm heres sum news dat actually kinda new… North Korea has developed nuclear weapons… they’re preaprin 4 war… tis sux a lot…. North Koreawell yea im sure every know is a communist country n under the dictatorship of da late Kim Jong II, he has kept his country poor n impoverished. Now y wud a country nt spend money 2 make farms or well food for their country 2 buy, ( C I meant 2 buy, as in they wont even spend money 2 order fud 4 its country) Well they pour all da money into well developin weapons of mass destruction yea… Children are literally starving to death by the thousands there but virtually nobody knows about it because no news gets in or out yea… Its kinda scary knowing that North Koreaas weapons like tt n considerin they r sworn enemies of da US yea…
Hmm well da last thing thing bout da holidays I guess was well a real hard one yea…. I realize tt a dream will come into an end yea as I wudn b makin a return 2 kk tis year… I had basically been tryin 2 save up since well my last visit 2 kk which was march 2 go bak at December… bt I cant believe tt whatever I make is never enuf 2 save up or even enuf 4 the month… other den tt, I had sch at year end… I rili wand 2 spend my new year at sutera harbour wid every1 bak in kk… bt yea I cant have tt as well … I just wanted 2 c da most of dem b4 they head off 2 Uni yea…
Hmm long distance friendships is a tricky thing… well I tink so especially 4 my case… hmm lets c… alotta my frens dun ave passport so I gotta visit dem bt yea I never ave enuf cash to tho, hmm yea un4nately a lot of dem dun ave internet well tis sumthin I can understand since I din ave internet wen I was in kk since gg 2 c.cafe was much more convienent yea… bt yea its hard… I dun even know how sum of my closest frens r doin… I dunno mebe it’s a fear tt I will eventually fade out… I mean I cant live dere nemore… I just wonder how long can my frens put up wid tis… its nt easy 4 both sides I guess… bt yea I know I still miss dem yea… bt its been months since I toked wid sum of em… something deep n complicated is upon me n my frens bonds of frenships… mebe its da distance… i mean bak in da beginin of tis year, I was wonderin where we wud all b 5 years 4rm now…bt just a year away n I feel da question is more of if we will b dere 5 years later? I mean we cant just relax n hope tt when we meet again tt everythings gonna b orite, I mean if we want tis frenship 2 last we gotta fite 2 Hell n bak 2 make sure it doesn’t die… u cant just leave it 2 fate n have a passive mindset about it… Yea I know I shudn come 2 xpect everything as ppl have der own problems too… October… its oredi a year tt im ere… pretty hard 2 believe bt I tink every1 has the same thought whenever u look in2 the past 2 find sumthing, how swift time goes ya… I guess durin the holiday n most of tis year tt I came 2 realize this is my new hometown n I’ll b spending quite a bit of my life wid da ppl ere yea… Yea I just hope tt distance n time wont b an issue in our friendships yea… I know friends come in and out of our lives like ppl on a bus … sometimes da frens we have just become just another face in the crowd…it just happens sometime ya… no1 isnt bound by the changes of time yea~
Bt yea … im rili sorry tat I cudn join my frens bak at KK 4 da new year… im sori 2 every1 who I told I was comin n hmm 2 myself as well… it was just sumthing I rili wanted, u can ave a great town 2 live in, wid malls everywhere n all sorts of stuff bt its rili means nothing if u cant enjoy it wid da ppl u care da most wid yea… Bt hmm I tink I know I wont give up on ne1 as long as they do da same yea… n yea at least dere are ppl I care about tt still keep in touch yea… its rili means a lot 2 me =) Well I wish 2 u see you guys soon … hmm Godspeed 2 u all 4 Stpm, exams n yea coming to terms wid being in the last year of form 6, or hmm 2nd year of poly, I hope u guys r doing truly well dere yea~~
Sch starts today… I just din feel rite startin in widout getting bak 2 my blog yea =) Well im sure dere is sumthing 2 tok bout 2day bout sch return ya… which is 4 hours 4rm now lolls… orites gtg yea~~
Zhi sheng xia gang qin pei wo tan le yi tian
Shui jiao de da ti qin
An Jing de jiu jiu de
Wo xiang ni yi biao xian de fei chang ming bai
Wo dong wo ye zhi dao
Ni mei you she bu de
Ni shuo ni ye hui nan guo wo bu xiang xin
Qian zhe ni pei zhe
Wo ye zhi shi cheng jin
Xi wang ta shi zhen de bi wo hai yao ai ni
Wo cai hui bi zi ji li kai
Chorus:
Ni yao wo shuo duo nan kan
Wo gen ben bu xiang fen kai
Wei she me hai yao wo yong wei xiao lai dai guo
Wo mei you zhe zhong tian fen
Bao rong ni ye jie shou ta
Bu yao dan xin de tai duo
Wo hui yi zhi hao hao guo
Ni yi jin yuan yuan li kai
Wo ye hui man man zou kai
Wei shen me wo lian fen kai dou qian jiu zhe ni
Wo zhen de mei you tian fen
An jing de mei zhe me kuai
Wo hui xue zhe fang qi ni
Shi ying wei wo tai ai ni
~~ Hmm well … 1st off…. its oredi been 5 years… yea i know the past stays in the past bt i dun tink i’ll ever 4get the anger n terror i felt tt day… i remember seeing those ppl celebratin the 9/11 attk… they were celebratin …i was shocked, disgusted, angry n scared at the same time.. scared bcuz i ave family in a town rite nxt 2 ny… scared cuz it just mite b my town tt mite b nxt… im just glad so far tt hasnt been the case.. bt yea i hope the world gathers n join da fite against terror… they have no place on tis earth xcept under it… sounds like genocidal talk bt … yea they just wont sit still n leave every1else alone.. they want 2 kill ppl … they deserve watever comes 2 dem… all tis hate in tis world… hmmm… well neways on to other news yea~
"Does this darkness have a name? This cruelty, this hatred, how did it find us? Did it steal into our lives or did we seek it out and embrace it? What happened to us that we now send our children into the world like we send young men to war, hoping for their safe return, but knowing that some would be lost along the way. When did we lose our way? Consumed by the shadows. Swallowed whole by the darkness. Does this darkness have a name? Is it your name?"
Well 2day is the start of IMF at singapore, more importantly at suntec aka da place i work yea… wats IMF? is it tt Impossible Mission Force 4rm MI:3? Nah, its a gathering of all the bank leaders of the world where they will come 2gether to discuss wat they shud do wid the money of the world. Obviously its an incredibly touchy issue as ppl want 2 know how their country’s money is spent whether its on helping the country wid more schools or better living for all, or whether they pour it into war funds…
Hmm actually IMF has alotta wild protests, u know da type streakers n sign-wielding mobs yea.. bt Korea has sum weird ones like … the Buddhist Movement in which a huge line of ppl walk 4rm da airport 2 da IMF meeting. They walk a few steps, then get on their knees, and den lie on the floor and den get up n do it again… its nt hurtful bt yea it just sounded intrestin yea… n den dere r those wid da bombs n guns kinda protest mob yea… hmm well s’pore tis year decided 2 take on IMF yea well im a little worried …
Hmm in case every1 4got, theres another reason i tink s’pore mite b targeted 4 crazy protests… i tink we all remember wen an ozzy was executed 4 smuggling drugs. Every1 was against the cruel capital punishment xcept s’pore tat is…
Hmm all tis n da IMF meeting is at da building i work at… Hmm shud take leave bt im working…i guess i finally understand why in those horror movie a dumb character who will open the door to obvious doom n die… hmm a mix of curiousity n wanting 2 make der life as big as possible. Noble bt netherless they all get 2 dance with Death in the end yea… Hmm well tis IMF thingy is 4 a week i tink… hmm tho security is tite so i guess i’ll b fine.
Oke nxt off is well news bout an al-qaeda jackass named Adam Gadahn… he’s an American who joined the al-qaeda ranks…he told all da americans 2 convert or else they will be bombed… al-qaeda r starting 2 remind me of Nazis.. they seem genocidal just like Hitler wen he tried 2 erase Jewism… in fact here is an excerpt i just got yea…
(CNN) — A lengthy video statement from Ayman al-Zawahiri, issued on the eve of the fifth anniversary of al Qaeda’s attacks on the United States, calls on Muslims to step up their resistance to the United States and warns that "new events" are on the way.
"Your leaders are hiding from you the true extent of the disaster," the fugitive deputy to al Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden says in the video, which appeared on Islamist Web sites late Sunday. "And the days are pregnant and giving birth to new events, with Allah’s permission and guidance."
It appeared just hours before Monday’s anniversary of the al Qaeda 2001 attacks on New York and Washington, which killed nearly 3,000 people.
It appears to have been recorded recently, with references to Israel’s bombardment of Lebanon and the kidnapping of Israeli soldiers by Palestinian militants in Gaza and by Lebanon’s Hezbollah guerrillas. It criticizes the West for arming Israel and calls on the Muslim nation "to rush with everything at its disposal to the aid of its Muslim brothers in Lebanon and Gaza." (Watch excerpts from the latest al Qaeda video — :55)
Al-Zawahiri says any attack on Westerners and Jews anywhere can be considered fair, because "the reality of international politics is the humiliation and repression of the Muslim at the hands of the idol-kings who dominate this world."
The statement calls on Muslims to fight U.S. allies in Somalia, where an Islamic militia recently pushed an American-backed alliance of warlords out of the capital Mogadishu. It also urges them "to make use of every opportunity afforded him to take revenge on America" for the imprisonment of blind Egyptian cleric Omar Abdel Rahman, considered a major theological force behind al Qaeda.
The video is more technically sophisticated than previous ones released by al Qaeda’s fugitive leadership. It is an hour and 16 minutes long and is subtitled in English, with a short section of highlights at the outset. An interviewer asks al-Zawahiri a series of questions.
Al-Zawahiri calls for Iraq’s Kurds, whose leaders have cooperated with U.S. troops in Iraq, to fight the Americans "and write an honorable page in the contemporary history of Islam." And he blasts "collaborators" and "defeatists" he says have turned their backs on Islamic law to endorse corrupt governments in the Middle East.
And in a threat to Britain, which currently commands NATO troops in Afghanistan, he says, "I want to bring to the attention of the British people that Dr. Brydon won’t be returning to India this time." The comment is a reference to the sole survivor of a British army massacred in Afghanistan in 1842.
Bin Laden and al-Zawahiri escaped the U.S. onslaught that followed the 2001 suicide hijackings that killed nearly 3,000 people in New York, Washington and Pennsylvania. They are believed to be hiding somewhere along the mountainous border between Pakistan and Afghanistan, where U.S. and NATO troops are now battling a resurgence of al Qaeda’s Taliban allies.
Al-Zawahiri says the situation in Afghanistan "is very good" for the Taliban, the Islamic militia that was ruling most of Afghanistan when the September 11 attacks occurred.
In a message directed at the people of the West, al-Zawahiri said Islamic fighters are scoring victories across Asia and the Middle East.
"We tell you not to concern yourselves with the troops in Iraq and Afghanistan, these are doomed," he said. "You should worry about your presence in the Gulf and the second place they should worry about, is in Israel."
CNN terrorism analyst Peter Bergen said Sunday that al Qaeda was certain to make some sort of statement on Monday’s anniversary.
"It would be very, very weird, in my view, if we didn’t hear from either or both of them in the next few days, because this is something they want to remind Americans and their followers about — the dreadful attacks on 9/11," Bergen said.
A videotape aired last week by Arabic-language network Al-Jazeera showed what was described as a meeting between bin Laden and Ramzi Binalshibh, a key plotter in the September 11 attacks, making preparations for the suicide hijackings.
CNN was unable to independently verify whether the video was indeed made in 2001, although two of the men shown on it — Hamza Alghamdi and Wail Alshehri — were hijackers who died in the 9/11 suicide missions. A senior White House official said the U.S. intelligence community was working to confirm whether the tape was authentic.
On Friday, al Qaeda released a longer version of the video, featuring more statements from bin Laden, as well as "Azzam the American," a California-born man named Adam Gadahn who previously has been featured on al Qaeda tapes.
Gadahn, who is listed as armed and dangerous on the FBI’s Web site, appeared earlier this month on a tape with al-Zawahiri, urging Americans to convert to Islam. He also put out a tape last year on the fourth anniversary of the 9/11 attacks
i know i sed alotta negative stuff bout regardin another country… bt dun get me wrong tis isnt a racist post or anti-religion 1 either… i mean regardless of wat religion u are, i tink the idea of killing mass amount of people is wrong, there is no justice in tt, n worst of all, how can u try 2 justify it with religion? there is nothing right about killing families n trying 2 end civilisations just bcuz its nt like ders… i hope tt they’ll change der ways… n every1 lives in peace even tho i cant help feeling a foreshadowing of sumthing horrible yet 2 come… i like the world as it is now.. i dun wan it plunged 2 war… so yea all for peace~~
IMAGINE by Lennon
Imagine there’s no heaven
It’s easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today…
Imagine there’s no countries
It isn’t hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace…
You may say I’m a dreamer
But I’m not the only one
I hope someday you’ll join us
And the world will be as one
Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world…
You may say I’m a dreamer
But I’m not the only one
I hope someday you’ll join us
And the world will live as one
This song had such a profound effect on me as a young person… I COULD imagine all these ideas… I still hope for them, but I realize, I can’t change other people hearts, just my own…ah well.. Peace!!
As everyone knows by now, Steve Irwin, an icon of Australia and the world has passed on.
The unfortunate accident occurred while Irwin was filming a documentary television program (Ocean’s Deadliest) off the Great Barrier Reef. On location, Steve was stung in the chest by a stingray, whose poisonous tail apparently put a hole right through to his heart. Upon removing the barb in his chest, Irwin lost consciousness and died immediately afterwards. This incident was caught on tape and recounted by Irwin’s manager and producer John Stainton.
Irwin was best known for his work on the television program Crocodile Hunter (and the subsequent film The Crocodile Hunter: Collision Course). Bringing the most extreme wildlife to the forefront, Irwin never backed down from any animal - whether he was wrestling a crocodile or swimming with sharks. Irwin has also been involved in many wildlife programs and charities focused around environmental issues.
This sad situation was seen by some to be a foregone conclusion, but that doesn’t take away from the severity of the death. Leaving behind his wife Terri, daughter Bindi Sue, and son Bob - our thoughts and well-wishes go out to the family.
In the end he died doing what he loved, and we thank him for that. The world will truly miss him.
Hmm no one saw tis coming… I think it was great to have such an entertaining person in zoology and in our lives, the world needed more people like him. I hope his family get better, but there really isnt much of an instant cure thats going to take away this kind of pain…
Rest In Peace — Steve Irwin
As happens sometimes a moment settled and hovered
and remained for much more than a moment.
And sound stopped and movement stopped for much,
much more than a moment. And then the moment was gone.
Yes …
Wo0o0o0o0o! Holidays is ere!!!!! Survived 3 weeks of exhaustion n fatigue bt yea its time 2 celebrate! Yea i dun ave 2 worry bout c++ n sch 4 a month or so, holiday till october ya =) take tt 2 da bank cin and cout!
Lets see well went 2 book a chalet bt da machine sot so we went 2 watch movie, MOnster House, its nt a bad movie. Feels different den other CG movies A gud movie hahah =)
Well was actually plannin a gathering amond da groups of my course 4 a chalet 2 well break da ice n just relax 4 a sec. take a moment 2 just sit down n forget tt the world is spinnin n live in ours 4 just awhile yea. Hmm hope to cycle 2 tt haunted part at pasir ris tis time yea.. hmm well i planned 2 ave a chalet for all the groups n classes in my course. sounds like im tryni 2 1up stiffler or aim 2 high but lemme paint a picture… lets say at the end of 3rd year we mite have this big party that bring us all 2gether n we wished we wud ave known each other earlier on … what i mean is, why shud it b at da end , dat we ave 2 have da moment, y wait until den? we shud all get 2 know each other now… hmm it wont b so weird nemore wen sch starts yea~~
PLan 2 hang out wid frens 4 da holidays as much as possible b4 da spectre of sch comes bak yea~ Every1s off gettin a job or sumthing ya. My ho;liday well plan to work more i guess… sa life we all live now, holiday used 2 equal relaxation yea but heheh now it means more time 2 make $ 4 me… i dun wanna sound materailsistic, bt yea i know my motives are gud hahaha since its 2 c old frens again yea =)
on other news, hmm kurt angle 4rm wee has left wwe …it was so unexpected… any1 who knows wrestling knows he’s 1 of da best… so yea sad 2 c da Olympic Gold medalist go hahah… i rememeber wen he 1st came wid da Gold Medal commercial n tat whole 3 Is stuff hahah… but close frens say him gettin a leave 4rm wwe may have saved his life, they sed he pushed his body way past his limit .. another price 2 pay as a wrestler, fans cheer for dem n go home bt da injuries 4 da wrestlers stay wid dem 4 da whole lives yea… neways hope he returns 1 day, well my fave match was defintely kurt angle vs hbk at wrestlmania 21, a match tt was spectacalur ya~
well i’ve been coughin my guts out lately
hehehe 4 2 weeks hmm i tink, for work its been hard, i learned tt i dun wanna work wid a sore throat, there was a nite where i ahd no voice n talked like yoda n couldnt shout. Plus the live band , so had to talk to all da customers ears sum kinda pervert yea~ neways im still coughin up, hmm i guess its cuz da 2nd hand smoke 4rm work ya
>.<
speaking of work, an old colleague at bala called me recently out of the blue… Dayrl aka botak, he’s doing gud working 2 jobs at a cd store n property sumthing, making like 10k a month, tats alot heheh =) …but sumthing else, he told me he’s gettin married yea =) glad 4 da guy, his life changed alot since we last met yea, but i wish him the best in life yea~
Oso happy national day 2 m’sia! yea i know a bit late ya Over ere teachers day is a BIG thing yea, ppl meetin up wid old classmates n teachers, wish it was like tt at kk… i wudn mind meetin my old teachers yea =)
Blech. Visiting your hometown is tough. It’s horrible to see your hometown in a certain stasis, to see that it’s exactly as it always was.However something even worse is to see your hometown change, I think. There’s that old adage, "you can never go home again." Cause everytime you leave its never the same once you come back… Memories that were so precious to us eventually gets lost, Hmm Stephen King said "Time takes it all away" But Im pretty sure we’ll all remember the memories that matters the most yea =) kinda sad that we’re forgetting days where we lived if you think about it… i mean its sad that the human mind cant remember all those great moments in life as new memories move their way in…
Not much 2 say ere cept well miss my frens like mad … i cant wait for december, it’ll just be just … to heck with the world n all its problems for just a second… i think its important to have 1 last gathering b4 we all leave after stpm … waitaminmute hahah yea i left oredi… o yea… well important 4 dem b4 they go off yea… u know the other day i was tokin bout plans for holiday wid frens n we tot bout goin 2 kl . 1st thing tt came 2 mind was orite get 2 meet su again, i was hyped bout it n sed we shud go 2 kl… it was only after a couple minutes wen i realised sumthing… su was in kk… nt in kl nemore… i sorta 4got he moved…. i guess mentally blocked it out… mebe its cuz i rili liked da idea tt i had a fren 4rm home on the west side ere… well neways … yea… but we’re all still here n thats all that matters, n at least i do get 2 visit dem, im glad i still have the chance to do so… its gud yea =)
Well tats all for now, Happy holidays 2 every1! Cheers n all da best!
Neways eres a song tats well fit for us all? well fits for me neways yea~
It’s alright
to tell me
what you think
about me
I won’t try
to argue
or hold it
against you
I know that
you’re leaving
you must have
your reasons
The season
is calling
and your pictures
are falling down
The steps that
I retrace
the sad look
on your face
The timing
and structure
did you hear
he fucked her?
A day late
a buck short
I’m writing
the report
On losing
and failing
when I move
I’m flailing now
And it’s happened once again
I’ll turn to a friend
Someone that understands
Sees through the master plan
But everybody’s gone
And I’ve been here for too long
To face this on my own
Well I guess this is growing up
Well I guess this is growing up
And maybe
I’ll see you
at a movie
sneak preview
You’ll show up
and walk by
on the arm
of that guy
And I’ll smile
and you’ll wave
we’ll pretend
it’s okay
The charade
it won’t last
when he’s gone
I won’t come back
And it’ll happen once again
You’ll turn to a friend
Someone that understands
And sees through the master plan
But everybody’s gone
And you’ve been there for too long
To face this on your own
Well I guess this is growing up
Well, I guess this is growing up [4x]
Well, I guess this is growing up
~~There is no happy ending in love…
Because there is no ending in love ~~
Hey dere ~~
I just wanted 2 put dwn tis post as im pretty sure i wont get alotta chance startin tis month ya… well im havin holidays.. hmm well nt rili too cuz i still gotta head 2 sch 4rm 8am - 6pm … ave 2 sign in n sign out so cant escape.. its 4 sum project ya… sum holiday eh? well actually im gonna ake tis time 2 rili make more $$$ n work like 4rm 7 onwards to 1am… tats well i start the day at 7am, go to sch n den 4rm 6 go 2 da mrt n 2 work till 1am.. n get home round 2am n ave 5 hours till i do it all over again… hmm yea kinda dumb how my holiday is gonna b packed.. bt im working 4 tis dec yea… so no choice n i oredi owe my dad lotsa $$$ … i just feel .. like i need a break 4rm everything sumtimes… 4rm everything… sch,work,ppl, the world… bt dat kinda break is awarded to someone when they’re either at the hospital or six feet under… i guess all these hardships are tied to your life… just gotta get thru dem all yea~~ bt its my 1st year ere.. i ave 2 learn 2 go thru dem… yeap its gonna b hellacious month ya~~
im almost 20 … damn hahah … im sure all my frens n every1 has sum kinda feelin bout tis auspicious age… for me, it feels like i’ve been thu alot to be ere now… i went thru 3 lifestyles… each had its memories … well im also kinda scared as it makes me feel like my life now is sprawlin outta control sumtimes n i cant seem 2 handle everything yea… my mind cant wrap around the idea of watchin childhood frens goin off n gettin married yet… i guess once u had the taste of youth from the chalice of life, it makes you think you’ll never grow old… "old age and disease is but a distant rumour to the young" bt i know it’ll be a great moment for all of us wen 1 of us walks down tat aisle ya… so cant wait for tat… having our own families? yea hahah in 4 years time im sure its gonna happen n i wanna b dere wid every1 ya~
Well im still tinkin bout shud i run awat 4rm s’pore wen its all sed n done wid sch n never look bak at da ppl i met ere? once i run like tat i can never come bak unless i wanna ave a 5 year vacation in a room wid no windows in jail ya~~ it was national day for s’pore da other y… i realised dat i dun even know da words to the anthem hahaha… hmm yea i guess i never really felt patriotic.. i mean i was shuffled round countries ya.. i guess the real 1st time i felt sumthing if there was nething for my country was sept 11… i’ll owez remember where i was wen tat happened, i was coming out a shower wen i saw da news on da tv… i never saw it coming… i tink dat day changed everything… b4 tat i tot the world was in peace, i mean da word ‘terrorist’ was a word u wud hear at da action movies nt da news ya.. it made me see how vurneable every1 was… we’re all equal in death’s eyes… yea so hmm im still tinkin bout ns.. well i got 3 years 2 tink bout it hahah =)
Hmm well i saw alotta gud movies like click, it was a funny movie tat turned 2 drama halfway tho, yea sum moments were sappy bt i liked da movie alot… it made m see that you only have a one life 2 weave moments tat’ll last forever, every second is da best the time to do watever u want, theres never a better time den now … hmm oso saw my super ex-gf which hahah was funny too yea n recommend seein tat as well hahaha~
i just got a touching msg 4rm a close fren bak home… i just struck me n i dunno i all da sudden felt sad n startin tearin up… it was just a touchin msg… it made me realise how much i miss kk n how lucky i was 2 ave such frens yea… 4 awhile i was living where i tot yea "frens , u can lean on dem 4 help" bt sumtimes i felt tat was kinda bs bt i realise they do help in a big way ya, i hope 4rm years now tat we’ll still keep in touch… u know… i tink bout kk all da time… even wid my new frens ere… i dunno how 2 xplain it.. sumtimes wen im enjoying my new frens ere, its like i feel guilty n i dunno its like theres a part of me tat just wants to run away 4rm dem n go bak home… i hope every1 bak home knows tat u guys r da world 2 me … kk’s a small town bt yea it seems like everything important in my life is dere… i hate tat i cant grow up wid u every1 dere n c how thier life unfolds… im startin 2 realise the real important stuff in life… makin sure ur life is doin well n helpin ur frens ave a gud life too yea…
i wish things wud stay the way they were 4ever sumtimes… i wish life wud stay still n we would have more time to enjoy the small and simple moments that make up our lives before times takes it away~~
Hmm wel i gotta get sum slp… 2mr will b da 1st day of my 17 hour work! hahah damn tat sux… bt all da best 2 every1 ~~~
Well hey all~~ Havent been able 2 blog 4 quite sum time as i din rili get 2 use a com other den projects n crap yea neways hahah sum things have been goin on since we last left off ya~~ A Short Detour From The Madness~ Well 1st is da trip 2 kl ya… hahah it was pretty hectic as i kinda packed last moment n almost din make it 2 da bus 2 kl. The bus w at 3 n sch finishd round 2 so hahah had 2 rush everything yea~ Well slept da whole way 2 kl =) very comfortable bus ride i must say bt well da tires blew out n so my arrival at kl was delayed 2 10 pm yea. Stopped at Pudur Raya n got a digi number( they ave 014 now? hahah weird ya) bt da place was kinda hectic n wasnt rili used 2 it bt called su n met him at sungei wang ya~ hahah it was great seein an old fren, after all money problems, sch work, work n other things draggin dwn it was nice 2 just take a complete break 4rm it all Well i owe su n kenneth cuz i was dead broke wen i got dere , if they din take care of my tiket 2 genting. i wud ave been screwD big time ya… well kl is a pretty awesome town as da malls r refreshin compared 2 s’pore clone malls yea. the urbn lifestyle is a bit different den s’pore n da public transport is higher too =) well hope 2 visit ere again yea~ Overall tho it was onli 2 days it was nice knowin tat i still had my frens coverin my bak… wen u dun c ur hometown 4 months, seein an old n familar face is an incredible morale boost ya~ Well yea we sed our gudbyes n yea i wont 4get wat they sed, they came 2 visit me at kl, now it was my turn 2 go home n visit dem yea~ yea hahah i gotta save up now~~ A New Place To Call Home Well finally moved outta da hse n in2 our own place yea =) finally got a gud com wid internet ya~ Its nt bad bt hahah i do miss da view 4rm my old hse tho =) its nt very easy 2 c a sunset round ere yea… doesnt seem like much until u realise its been weeks n months since u saw one yea~ well neways dun got a tv yet n da hse is pretty bare 4 now ya~ Life As It Is Well hmm life yea i know its nt supposed 2 b easy nemore… wen i finally get my salary im oredi usin 2 pay 4 bills , watevers left is goin 2 da mrt card … everyday at sch wen every1s eatin i just drink free water 4rm the cooler… hahaha lame …. hmm i need 2 dedicate 1 month 2 work or …. well i still ave 3k in bills n my salary is like 140 bucks n all da salary goes 2 fon n mrt bills.. im nt sure how im gonna pay 4 everything…. As for sch life, well it turns out my sch’s 1st semester life is almost up. Hahaha tat was rili fast i ave 2 say =) well hmm lots of stuff happend tis 5 months of sch yea… i learned dere r ppl worth makin frens ere at s’pore… made a few gud ones n it helps my situation yea =) Had sum pretty gud events like da chalet sleepover which rawkd, watchin those great movies at lecture hall, all those bowling n poll games(… reminds me of kk), da adventure camp which was reaffirmed myself tat dere rili was a world worth living outside of da house n yea sch was hard … bt meetin all da ppl was rili gr8 , so balances it out yea~ Well hmm as for KK… well in tis past 5 months after da return 2 kk well its been a bit quiet on the front bt yea dere were sum issues wid frens, serious ones tat had 2 b resolved reemerged 4rm time 2 time bt yea i like dat i can still contact my frens n just tok bout nething at netime… its feels so secure 2 know ur frens ave ur back yea n tat u get 2 help ur frens, makes me feel bigger den i cud ever be yea~~ Well hope things continue 2 rock yea, n hope life gets easier 4 me n every1 else… its almost half da year oredi… its almost one year since i left … hmm emotions r mixed… joyful tat lm gettin used 2 live ere bt sad tt i have 2 get used 2 life ere at da same time… hmm tis train dont stop here nemore… yeap…
Well movin outta da madhouse at last hahaha =)
tho hahah im broke n well bak 2 allowance 4rm parents, hmm i tink life’s gettin better… well yea i tink karma paid me bak sumthing… n its gr8 relief… cosmic influences indeed hahah =)
well i know all i tokd bout was negative things these days, well hahah i found my diary 4rm a few years bak, its rili gr8 2 c my mindset years ago.. how everything was well hahah unknown… i remember things like my chem teach, mrTan keepin us 4 gym n usin it 4 chem , hahah trivial things like dat… i remember walkin around AeA hosue wid ang n karen hahah .. i loved tat nite, n my hearts of hearts at dat time, i tot it wud owez b like dat, tt we wud never b apart, sounds cheesy bt yea it was a great nite, walkin around n tokin , at dat time i din know i was goin 2 s’pore, kRen 2 kl, AeA n ang 2 poly… hahah i guess i just miss tat innnocence =) i oso recall sum things further bak like ne promisin 2 return 2 mn… i rili 4got about tis, n when i tink bout da frens i must ave hurt n dissapointed n made dem angry, well hmm tat hurts too… i remember 4 da 1st few years of all saints, i was so0o0 anti-allsaints n loved mn… i remember visitin dem alot in form 1… soon after dat changed cuz i guess i cudn do it nemore, tellin dem tat i wud b returnin nxt year bt knowin dere was no way i cud.i hope they cud ave known tat at a time i wud ave gladly burnt my sch uniform n put on da black n blue attire once more… i nearly 4got bout these issues bt hmm its gud 2 look bak in da past sumtimes ya~
well im doin much better these days =) tryin 2 look 4ward 2 wat life has 2 offer ya =)
